It’s totally cheating to use carrots and lentils in the Rose Parade.
9:43 AM Jan 1st from mobile web
ZebraBelly is making latkes. Is eating them faster than I can cook them. Maybe my family won’t notice?
6:14 PM Jan 5th from web
ZebraBelly is eating her weight in leftover latkes. BUT they are fried in coconut oil so it’s like I HAVE to for my HEALTH.
11:55 AM Jan 6th from web
“When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get… feelings.” Indeed, Shrek. Indeed.
5:48 PM Jan 7th from web
But… Who will teach my kids to appreciate Marky Mark?
5:49 PM Jan 7th from web
John Coleman, on KUSI: “Most often the top news @ 10.” But, Dear John, what about the other times?
10:29 PM Jan 7th from web
Happy Due Date to me! 32 (I think?) years ago I was supposed to be born, but didn’t get the memo. Also happy birthday to Elvis.
8:57 AM Jan 8th from web
ZebraBelly is watching a 1969 flick called “The Big Cube” – all I can say is… WTF?
11:56 PM Jan 8th from web
As it turns out, it is helpful to invite the Bride to the Bridal Shower.
4:08 PM Jan 10th from web
The Polygamy Fairy came and gave us free HBO again- just in time for Big Love!!!!
10:09 PM Jan 10th from mobile web
Elliott, misunderstanding pockets: “I put my handy-dandy notebook in my underwear, just like Steve!”
10:49 AM Jan 11th from web
My children are TERRIBLE backseat drivers.
2:36 PM Jan 13th from web
ZebraBelly is totally a dork.
6:46 PM Jan 13th from mobile web
ZebraBelly is now a zoo member again!!
11:01 AM Jan 15th from mobile web
ZebraBelly has seen a zebra roll in dust, ridden the top of the bus, and seen an elephant pee. It’s time to go home.
3:14 PM Jan 15th from mobile web
The woods are just trees, the trees are just wood. I sort of hate to ask it, but do you have a basket?
7:59 PM Jan 15th from web
Does that wolf have a penis? REALLY? Like, on TV?? #IntoTheWoods
8:19 PM Jan 15th from web
OK, now watching Clash of the Titans which we watched in 4th grade and wondering WTF with all the nudity?
8:50 PM Jan 15th from web
ZebraBelly needs all the good dress shopping luck you people can send her!
10:06 AM Jan 16th from mobile web
Dress luck musta worked- got one and some jewelry to match. Also more jewelry.
12:33 PM Jan 16th from mobile web
ZebraBelly sees a rainbow!!! Two!!
5:07 PM Jan 17th from mobile web
ZebraBelly is not speaking to her uterus this morning.
8:50 AM Jan 18th from web
Thank goodness for 3G, without which I could not inform the interwebs that my internet is not working. Now pity me.
2:30 PM Jan 19th from mobile web
Shit. Is a tornado warning or watch worse? I shouldn’t have to know this kind of stuff!!
3:01 PM Jan 19th from mobile web
This afternoon has taken a bad turn. Luckily I have kickass GF pumpkin muffins to help me through it. I shall eat them all.
3:25 PM Jan 19th from mobile web
ZebraBelly also has no TV. How will I survive? It’s like living in ancient times. But with an iPhone.
4:12 PM Jan 19th from mobile web
Republican wins in Mass- hey, Ted Kennedy, now might be a good time to start the zombie apocalypse. Just sayin’.
8:55 AM Jan 20th from web
Things I never expected to have to say: “Sit properly in your car seat. That includes wearing pants.”
1:31 PM Jan 20th from web
Pretend play: Elliott is the daddy, Margie is the mommy, baby is a clown fish. This is what happens when siblings marry.
2:20 PM Jan 21st from mobile web
ZebraBelly finished Life of Pi tonight and is not sure how to feel about it.
10:37 PM Jan 22nd from web
Jay Leno, I will never forgive you.
11:52 PM Jan 22nd from web
“She’s got electric boobs, a mohair suit” #betterthantheactuallyrics
10:13 AM Jan 23rd from mobile web
“Should I give up or should I just keep chasing penguins?” #betterthantheactuallyrics
2:09 PM Jan 23rd from mobile web
ZebraBelly adores her kids. ❤
4:59 PM Jan 23rd from mobile web
Personally, I think it takes all the Throwback out of the Pepsi to sell it in plastic bottles.
11:49 PM Jan 23rd from web
Fuck you, ants.
11:13 PM Jan 24th from mobile web
My egg had no yolk. I feel afraid.
10:33 AM Jan 25th from web
ZebraBelly just dissolved some sea salt in a jar of water and found sand at the bottom! Is, for some reason, impressed.
5:30 PM Jan 27th from web
Z E B R A B E L L Y . C O M 
This is the only and I do mean the ONLY thing that makes me want to do this Tweeting thing or whatever it’s called.
Some funny shit.
And let’s go to the zoo.
“OK, now watching Clash of the Titans which we watched in 4th grade and wondering WTF with all the nudity?”
I attribute all of my mental and emotional difficulties to watching that movie in a formative window of my life. The whole thing was a huge WTF. Harry Hamlin=WTF.