It’s totally cheating to use carrots and lentils in the Rose Parade.
9:43 AM Jan 1st from mobile web
ZebraBelly is making latkes. Is eating them faster than I can cook them. Maybe my family won’t notice?
6:14 PM Jan 5th from web
ZebraBelly is eating her weight in leftover latkes. BUT they are fried in coconut oil so it’s like I HAVE to for my HEALTH.
11:55 AM Jan 6th from web
“When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get… feelings.” Indeed, Shrek. Indeed.
5:48 PM Jan 7th from web
But… Who will teach my kids to appreciate Marky Mark?
5:49 PM Jan 7th from web
John Coleman, on KUSI: “Most often the top news @ 10.” But, Dear John, what about the other times?
10:29 PM Jan 7th from web
Happy Due Date to me! 32 (I think?) years ago I was supposed to be born, but didn’t get the memo. Also happy birthday to Elvis.
8:57 AM Jan 8th from web
ZebraBelly is watching a 1969 flick called “The Big Cube” – all I can say is… WTF?
11:56 PM Jan 8th from web
As it turns out, it is helpful to invite the Bride to the Bridal Shower.
4:08 PM Jan 10th from web
The Polygamy Fairy came and gave us free HBO again- just in time for Big Love!!!!
10:09 PM Jan 10th from mobile web
Elliott, misunderstanding pockets: “I put my handy-dandy notebook in my underwear, just like Steve!”
10:49 AM Jan 11th from web
My children are TERRIBLE backseat drivers.
2:36 PM Jan 13th from web
ZebraBelly is totally a dork.
6:46 PM Jan 13th from mobile web
ZebraBelly is now a zoo member again!!
11:01 AM Jan 15th from mobile web
ZebraBelly has seen a zebra roll in dust, ridden the top of the bus, and seen an elephant pee. It’s time to go home.
3:14 PM Jan 15th from mobile web
The woods are just trees, the trees are just wood. I sort of hate to ask it, but do you have a basket?
7:59 PM Jan 15th from web
Does that wolf have a penis? REALLY? Like, on TV?? #IntoTheWoods
8:19 PM Jan 15th from web
OK, now watching Clash of the Titans which we watched in 4th grade and wondering WTF with all the nudity?
8:50 PM Jan 15th from web
ZebraBelly needs all the good dress shopping luck you people can send her!
10:06 AM Jan 16th from mobile web
Dress luck musta worked- got one and some jewelry to match. Also more jewelry.
12:33 PM Jan 16th from mobile web
ZebraBelly sees a rainbow!!! Two!!
5:07 PM Jan 17th from mobile web
ZebraBelly is not speaking to her uterus this morning.
8:50 AM Jan 18th from web
Thank goodness for 3G, without which I could not inform the interwebs that my internet is not working. Now pity me.
2:30 PM Jan 19th from mobile web
Shit. Is a tornado warning or watch worse? I shouldn’t have to know this kind of stuff!!
3:01 PM Jan 19th from mobile web
This afternoon has taken a bad turn. Luckily I have kickass GF pumpkin muffins to help me through it. I shall eat them all.
3:25 PM Jan 19th from mobile web
ZebraBelly also has no TV. How will I survive? It’s like living in ancient times. But with an iPhone.
4:12 PM Jan 19th from mobile web
Republican wins in Mass- hey, Ted Kennedy, now might be a good time to start the zombie apocalypse. Just sayin’.
8:55 AM Jan 20th from web
Things I never expected to have to say: “Sit properly in your car seat. That includes wearing pants.”
1:31 PM Jan 20th from web
Pretend play: Elliott is the daddy, Margie is the mommy, baby is a clown fish. This is what happens when siblings marry.
2:20 PM Jan 21st from mobile web
ZebraBelly finished Life of Pi tonight and is not sure how to feel about it.
10:37 PM Jan 22nd from web
Jay Leno, I will never forgive you.
11:52 PM Jan 22nd from web
“She’s got electric boobs, a mohair suit” #betterthantheactuallyrics
10:13 AM Jan 23rd from mobile web
“Should I give up or should I just keep chasing penguins?” #betterthantheactuallyrics
2:09 PM Jan 23rd from mobile web
ZebraBelly adores her kids.❤
4:59 PM Jan 23rd from mobile web
Personally, I think it takes all the Throwback out of the Pepsi to sell it in plastic bottles.
11:49 PM Jan 23rd from web
Fuck you, ants.
11:13 PM Jan 24th from mobile web
My egg had no yolk. I feel afraid.
10:33 AM Jan 25th from web
ZebraBelly just dissolved some sea salt in a jar of water and found sand at the bottom! Is, for some reason, impressed.
5:30 PM Jan 27th from web