Catching Up On Tweets

11 04 2013

I would just like to share that my daughter is singing Depeche Mode in the shower. I am such a proud mommy.
Feb 1

Yoda: “May the Force be with you.” Random kid on Star Tours: “And also with you.” <–Exactly what I always want to say!
Feb 2

When you see a Lamborghini race a Nissan on the freeway and lose you can know that you've seen the Worst Lamborghini Driver Ever.
Feb 3

Things you say while playing Wii Play Motion: Did Jesus and Voldemort just snorkel past?
Feb 5

My kids are cracking Jungle Cruise jokes at each other. I could not be more proud.
Feb 11

I don't mean to micromanage your job performance, Leia, but FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T LET THE SPIDER GET AWAY.
Feb 17

Kids happened to catch Wheel of Fortune for the first time ever and they are SO INTO IT.
Feb 27

When "Homey don't play that" falls out of your mouth for some reason, it will require you explaining all of 90's pop culture to your kids.
Feb 27

Hint: There's no explaining 90's pop culture.
Feb 27

Margie, regarding Delores Umbridge: "This lady is a common butt cheek."
Feb 28

Elliott has taken to wandering around the house and letting out long melodramatic sighs. I ask what's wrong and he says, "I miss Legoland."
Mar 1

Elliott, regarding ET: You know I starred in that movie. I played myself.
Mar 4

Elliott, regarding me tweeting everything he says: When you tweet about me, I become famous.
Mar 4

Never in the history of all the Fandoms have I shipped anything so hard as I shipped Sawyer and Juliet. ALL THE EXPLETIVES. ALL OF THEM.
Mar 7

Barista: "The large is the taller one and the small is the shorter one." I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP, PEOPLE.
Mar 8

The neighbor cat is such a bully to my cat. Sitting there on the fence. Just… sitting. What an asshole.
Mar 11

Elliott: "Shakespeare? He's from Doctor Who!" Thank goodness the BBC is there for my kids when I fail as a parent.
Mar 17

Starbucks barista: "Your name is Monney? Like my name but without an M?" You guys? His name was Sam.
Mar 20

Time for bed but I can't use the bathroom because the cat is eating a spider.
Mar 23

I must express my extreme relief at the fact that in Britain they pronounce the word "solder" exactly the way it should be pronounced.
Mar 26




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