The rest of 7 Days and the Tweets for the last two months.

5 01 2013

Because I think the only people who read this blog have already heard all my tweets and seen all my pictures, but someday my old, senile future self will be reading through old diaries and will be all like, “BUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED? DID THE APOCALYPSE HAPPEN AFTER ALL? IS THAT WHY THERE ARE NO MORE 7 DAYS PICTURES??” This is for you, future senile self.

7 Days: Day 4 (Bony)

You know what’s stupid? How 5:30 becomes 7am without me even being asleep. Also that no one is making me bacon.
Nov 1

Honestly, Hogwarts really needs to implement some sort of anti-bullying policy. Why do the teachers never discipline the Slytherins?
Nov 1

Sometimes I think The Universe is sending people to slow me down & block me at every turn & then I remember I’m just driving on the freeway.
Nov 3

I was just about to head up into bed when I realized it’s only 9. You win again, Standard Time.
Nov 4

I say “up into” like I have stairs. Don’t believe it. It’s a sleep-deprived lie.
Nov 4

Sometimes I think someone is breaking in, but then it turns out it’s just the cat being “graceful” again.
Nov 6

“A Weimaraner hanging in the balance.” <–Best election quote ever. Even though I have no idea WTF it means.
Nov 6

It's the daily morning fight over who gets to sit in the sink and drink water from the tap. My position: NO ONE. The cat disagrees.
Nov 7

What kind of a world do we live in where Starbucks starts to run out of Salted Caramel Mochas before Thanksgiving?
Nov 9

Furthermore, what kind of a world do we live in where baristas think it's ok to ask, "We ran out of the salt, is that OK?" NO, IT IS NOT OK.
Nov 9

7 Days: Day 5 (Disneyland Geek)

Between the flea meds and the new sticky tape couch protectors, the cat is having a Very Bad Evening.
Nov 10

Hunting tip: If you meow at your prey, they will know you’re hunting them.
Nov 11

Elliott: Nobody ever forgets they’re in National City!!
Nov 14

Facebook is having a general funeral for Twinkies. What happened while I was in the shower? This is why we need waterproof internet.
Nov 16

Related: NOW what will we eat when the zombie apocalypse happens?
Nov 16

Two people just walked by and checked out my car’s ass. I know. My car is hot.
Nov 16

Attempted to see Cloud Atlas but it was FUCKING CANCELED FOR TWILIGHT. I just… No words. Moving to another planet.
Nov 17

My DSLR stopped working today. Hold me.
Nov 18

A watched pot never boils. But if I don’t watch it, I’ll forget it and burn the house down. Catch-22.
Nov 20

In other news I got a catalog addressed to my mom in the mail today. It’s entirely devoted to suspenders. I may keep this catalog forever.
Nov 21

So many suspenders! X-back AND Y-back style, hidden ones, maternity ones, one that looks like a ruler, camo for hunting, hip ones for teens.
Nov 21

I am one tiny, awkward, stripped screw away from a fixed camera. Mercury Retrograde, you are on my shit list.
Nov 21

WALT’S APARTMENT! YES! #EpicMickey #DisneylandNerd
Nov 23

When a person chooses to go into the military, how do they choose which branch to join? Is there a sorting hat for that, too?
Nov 26

Elliott: Have you ever seen an elephant naked? NO you haven’t. Because you never saw elephants.
Nov 27

Oops. I got another cat.
Nov 28

This cat sheds SO MUCH. And I’m warning you now that someday I *will* be that lady who spins her cat’s fur into yarn.
Nov 29

7 Days: Day 6 (Clearance Shopping)

I decided to leave the house today. That was obviously a stupid decision.
Dec 1

“Do They Know it’s Christmas” is one of the worst and most offensive Christmas songs I love and will never stop listening to.
Dec 1

When you put on pajamas before 3pm, 7:43 feels like midnight. #wisdom
Dec 1

Because, really, who shows dominance by humping their peers? #neverhavingaboycatagain #natureisfuckedup #traumatized
Dec 2

You know how it is when you try to turn off the car but accidentally turn off the radio because they’re just buttons next to each other? #PriusProblems
Dec 3

It’s so hard to have to ride the Jungle Cruise with people who don’t understand the Jungle Cruise.
Dec 4

I consistently get the lyrics to “Winter Wonderland” wrong so that I am always getting married by a circus clown.
Dec 9

Elliott, to Leia: Don’t sneeze on my face, please. It’s very expensive.
Dec 10

No, but really. Neiman Marcus at Target made me die a little inside.
Dec 10

PSA: If you watch Lost and play Epic Mickey in the same general time frame, your brain will make up very strange dreams.
Dec 13

Ok, Internet, I’m going to Toys R Us on a Sunday in December. If you don’t hear from me, send help.
Dec 16

Well that was oddly painless. Just another sign of the impending apocalypse, I guess.
Dec 16

7 Days: Day 7 (Nudist Colony)

If there is one thing Lost gave us that we should never forget and that we should always hold in our hearts, it’s time-traveling bunnies.
Dec 17

It’s the holiday season and I am incapable of producing adequate bokeh with any of my working cameras. My soul is a little bit dead.
Dec 19

I wish someone would recut all of Lost into chronological order. You know. Just for fun.
Dec 19

At least if the world ends tomorrow I’ll be free of this ant problem.
Dec 20

Autocorrect, sometimes I don’t understand you. But just now you correctly changed “slogghy” to “slightly” and I want to thank you for that.
Dec 22

Dammit, Brain, if you’re going to wake me at 5:30, you better figure out how to telekinetically bring me coffee in bed.
Dec 26

“Clean up your stuff before I steal your AT-AT.” <–A thing I just said to my son.
Dec 26

NO IT'S OK I DON'T NEED SLEEP I'LL JUST STAY AWAKE ALL NIGHT LONG AGAIN
Dec 28

Related: Googling Ed Wynn at 3am and I finally get the joke: Ed Wynn = Edwin #only34yearslate #thankgodimcute
Dec 28

Related: IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL TO GOOGLE ED WYNN AT 3AM. Don't judge.
Dec 28

Apparently Hot Dog on a Stick sells hot dogs not on sticks now. What kind of blasphemy is this?
Dec 29

Just overheard a kid in the the mall yell, "Hi, Grandma!" at a random old lady. Kids are awesome. As are old ladies.
Dec 29

Ok so WTF with the new trend where people play music on their phones loudly while shopping? Cause STOP IT, PEOPLE.
Dec 29

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