If no one sees me being unproductive, am I still getting nothing done?
My motto is: Who needs productivity? Eat more chocolate!
Oh my gosh, I haven’t checked Pinterest since yesterday. Who am I, even?
Elliott: What if every Thursday was my birthday? That would be surprising and exciting. And scary.
I just fried up two onions. And then ate almost two fried onions.
Little Pete always has the best rude names. From now on I’m calling all jerks “cheese plugs”.
ALSO THEY JUST CALLED LITTLE PETE A TIME LORD.
Pictures of Mars from just 14 minutes ago. The Universe just got a little smaller.❤
Margie lost another tooth yesterday. Me: "But this one you lost legitimately. Without having to bang your head on the sidewalk." #awesomemom
Now that we live in the future and have magic stuff like closed captioning I know that the Pete & Pete song is about Sandy, who has a dog.
I considered going to the gym tonight, but instead I came home and made cookies.
A word of advice. If you're going to call the wrong number, wait until its not 6am anymore. Or I might have to stab you.
Elliott: He's the best cat in the Universe. Other cats are fine, but this one is the awesomest and cutest.
At this moment I am boiling eggs, baking donuts, and making "coffee" (and tweeting about it). I don't multitask well. Wish me luck.
Also? The cat is LITERALLY bouncing off walls. And I mean literally literally.
Did not get eaten by mountain lions. Go me.
I may not remember which baby did what, but, dammit, I remember all the words to the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen song. I has priorities.
Whenever Margie says, "This one time?" I follow it with, "At band camp?" Someday she's going to learn how very inappropriate it is. Awesome.
Singing the He-Man theme to the cat? Who me?
Elliott, playing at the park with two friends: Stop fighting or I'll never adopt you again!
You know what makes me stabby? Lots of things, it turns out.
Elliott, while cuddling: Can I smell your eyeball?
Since its 2012 I figure it's about time I get around to watching Raising Arizona.
Obviously it's been way too long since I've watched Arrested Development because I had forgotten that WASH WAS MARRIED TO DIANE COURT. Dude.
Started reading Anansi Boys and I SWEAR TO GODS a spider just crawled across me. I blame @neilhimself and his damn magic writing.
So this morning my arms kinda hurt. I wonder if one of you guys could send up my lady's maid to help me get dressed? Kthx.
I think the kitten is nursing in his sleep.
Dude, you guys. I saw someone using a pay phone. Elliott: "What's a pay phone?" EXACTLY.
My kids are driving me crazy this week. I can't wait until school starts and I can send them to… Oh. Wait.
Oh all that screaming coming from my house? That was just me dealing with a spider. Like a badass.
In other news I just finished watching The Second Coming with Christopher Eccleston and it was AMAZING.
And just to tie everything in my life together (like The Universe does) there was a Jedi-mind trick bit in there like Spider in Anansi Boys.
I am so glad I'm not related to gods (and possibly Jedi). They are hard work. (Still willing to marry Loki and/or Obi-Wan.)
Today's Pete & Pete: Steve Buscemi, Janeane Garofolo, Gordon Gano. MY GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW.
Tonight's edition of Movies Bonnie is Finally getting Around to Watching: The Crow.
I think I might be bowling next to Scott Baio.
I feel unsupportive shipping Willow and Oz when I know she's going to come out in a few seasons but damn they're adorable together.
Just got cut off in traffic by a nun. True story.
Found a story I started writing a few years ago. No idea where I was going with it, but really wish I'd finished so I can KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.