Slumber Party

30 04 2012

I’ve put this off for too long. The sleepovers. Most of my favorite memories of my childhood and teenage years revolve around sleeping over at friends’ houses. And I look forward to that for my kids, too. But for a long time my kids weren’t ready to sleep away from their parents (Elliott still isn’t) and then there were other issues at play relating to my doorbell dread and to my being married to a hoarder. And then last year was just too hard. But then my girl turned 10 and it seemed like the perfect way to make her 10th birthday really special while also welcoming in the brighter future.


So we planned a slumber party. Inspired by Brenda’s parties, and also by Pinterest, I decided to go all out for it with a theme and everything. Margie chose Rainbows (which made it all the more exciting to me) and we scoured Etsy for rainbow decorations, grabbed as many rainbow favors as we could find at Party City, and even bought rainbow-colored sprinkly things to go on ice cream sundaes.


As a surprise, I decorated the house early, for her actual birthday, so she’d come home in the morning (she’d been at Dad’s that night) to a rainbowed house. She loved it. The birthday banner, twinkle lights, and dots stayed up all week, making it feel as festive as Christmastime.

and then the dollar spot told me these headbands were totally cooler than party hats and i needed to buy them

Oddly, during the week leading up to the party, I had absolutely zero anxieties about it. No doorbell dread, no overthinking. Not sure how I pulled that one off, but it worked out quite well, living anxiety-free. Who knew?


We’d come up with a list of activities for the party in case the kids got bored, but it wasn’t necessary and after awhile they didn’t follow it at all. They turned on the TV at one point, but got distracted and, like, used their actual imaginations or something. They drew fake mustaches (and monocles!) on their faces, they blew up balloons and let them fly, they drew fake mustaches (and monocles!) on the balloons*, made bracelets, decorated their DSi’s, watched YouTube, and, most importantly, prank called people. I was worried about how that would be accomplished in this day and age of stupid Big Brother telling everyone your damn phone number. But kids are smarter than Big Brother. And, since they all have cell phones, they just used each other’s phones to remain somewhat mysterious.

taco bar

At one point they all huddled into the bathroom and closed the door and got very quiet. And then, strangely, my phone started to ring. So I answered it in a very silly high-pitched voice, and both the other end of the line and the little voices in the bathroom erupted in giggles. And then they asks how I knew it was them. I has smrts. That’s how.

sundae makings

So it was a good time and we all had fun. I spent most of the evening holed up in my bedroom catching up on TV and my sky scarf; it was like having a bunch of baby sitters around. Baby sitters who are very loud and leave a really big mess behind.


In the morning, though, my girly was overtired. And for those who know her overtired = making the rest of us miserable. Luckily part of what she’s working on in her personal growth is to be open to allowing me to help her switch out of Evil Mode and she was able to recover and enjoy the day fairly well, anyway. I love watching that kid grow. She’s amazing.


So, bring on the sleepovers! But don’t expect me to decorate a party like this for her until she’s at least 18. I suppose I owe Elliott one when he turns ten, but that still gives me three years to recover. And I will need it. And coffee.

*just kidding, they drew other stuff on the balloons.


Demon Adventures. Also personal growth n stuff.

26 04 2012

I have so much to say. But only while I’m driving or in the shower or something. I need to make a habit of audio recording myself all the time and just posting that. Only it would be SO CONFUSING for you to try to follow my brain while I talk to myself. It’s harder than following my brain while I talk to you. Which is pretty hard to begin with.

Suffice it to say that this has been a time of incredible change and growth for me. I’ve learned things about myself, and let things go to regrow more organically. I’ve learned things about life, about friendships, about parenting and my children. I wish I could document all of it, but it happens so fast, and so naturally, that I can barely make verbal note of it before I’m onto the next step. I guess I’ll have to just let that be what it is, too.

This week has been a surreal week of new things for SOAM, too. It got picked up first by the Daily Mail in the UK, and then by Yahoo (wherein a woman WHO WAS *IN* OFFICE SPACE said my website was “meh”. Which. Actually. Might not be a compliment. But it doesn’t really matter because SHE WAS TOTALLY IN OFFICE SPACE and also TALKING ABOUT *MY* WEBSITE) and a few other sources. And the traffic crashed the site. Repeatedly. Like to the point where I had to find a new company to host it for me. And that, my friends? Was beyond stressful. Tech is not my language and to try to fix something so INCREDIBLY TECHY was downright traumatic. In case you’re here for advice, the coping technique I used follows:

1. Cuss a lot.
2. Deep breath.
3. Remind self to take it one step at a time, and do whatever the smrt people say.
4. Panic.
5. Repeat.

It might need work, but it got me through.

And you know what happened this week? My first baby turned ten. TEN. Oh, you know what? It’s kind of like this. Only with less pot and no professional killing. Take out those things and it’s EXACTLY like that.

she's weird, too, though

She’s amazing lately, too. This time of change isn’t just about me (unlike most other things in this world, which totally are just about me). She’s made some incredible growth that gets me all verklempt just thinking about it.

So here’s to spring and growth and life and The Happy. And to not taking a ride on this bus.

um. i don't think i fancy a ride on THAT bus.

Or, TO taking a ride on that bus, if that’s your thing. If the demons are hot I guess it might be mine.

The Shiny

18 04 2012

I have a lot of sewing machines. I don’t (yet) sew. I’m not hoarding these machines, though, I’m getting rid of them. Well, most of them. Well, half of them. Just a regular sewing machine and the serger because I’m told I need it. But, sadly, I’m getting rid of this pretty shiny one. I would have kept it, but it only does a straight stitch and I’m told I need more than that. Instead Yara (who may or may not be hoarding sewing machines) is going to keep it. To help me deal with this loss of Shiny, I’ve taken pictures. To help me look like I’m blogging more than I actually am, I’m posting them here.





I only hoard SOME things.

15 04 2012

At some point in my early 20’s I realized I didn’t want to grow up to be like my family, trapped by Stuff. So I started regular purges. Living in a small apartment has helped with this. I really can’t own too many things if I still want, for instance, places to sit or walk or put my clothes. So for the most part I get rid of things as I stop using them.

titanic, second class, white star line

Except for coffee mugs.

I love them. I can’t bring myself to ever get rid of them. Even when I don’t use them. And I do tend to be rather serial monogamous with my mugs so there are some I’ve not used for years.

my favorite mugs

This picture really makes it look like this isn’t an issue. In large part because it really isn’t an issue. But I will say that these are only my favoritest mugs (not counting my Starry Night mug which is packed away with the camping supplies) and that there are more in the cupboard. The only aspect of this which threatens to maybe someday become an issue is the fact that I can’t bring myself to get rid of them. But I figure I’ve got awhile before the couch is covered with the extras and once that happens I’ll understand when you stage an intervention.

And last week I added a new mug to my collection. We’d gone to see the Titanic artifact exhibit and they had replica dishes and teacups and mugs. And while I hope someday to have an entire set of this First Class china (so we can have Titanic Thanksgivings, duh) for now I settled on this one. The First Class mug, while beautiful, is demitasse, which is fancy for “too damn small” and I’d need like 30 refills each morning (which is simply too time-consuming). So I went with Second Class which was still very classic-looking while also allowing for a decent amount of coffee (even if it is still smaller than I often need).

titanic, second class, white star line

And so I shuffled some things around in my cupboards and got rid of some of the kids’ toys and clothes* and found some space for my new fancy and slightly morbid mug. And so maybe I do hoard coffee/tea mugs/cups. I’m totally ok with that.

*KIDDING. For now.

March Tweets. Which begin with Gary Oldman posing as a local librarian and end with me teaching my kids to sing “Crap Asshole.” It was a good month.

14 04 2012

Dude. I think that librarian over there is Gary Oldman.
Mar 1

Elliott picked up his first chapter book (Star Wars) today at the library. When asked how it was, he replied, “Good. Awesome. Like a pony.”
Mar 1

(At Disneyland) Stormtrooper just got friendly with me. So I turned to the Dark Side. Turns out I’m kinda easy.
Mar 2

You know what’s fucking rad? When Netflix Streaming is all “Doctor Who: New Episodes.” Excuse me while I cease all normal living activities.
Mar 3

Yesterday I found three double-sided half-dollars. I am going to win all coin tosses from now on. I mean. As soon as I learn to flip a coin.
Mar 6

Me: No chocolate chips! I just told you no sugar. Margie: Oh, that didn’t calculate in my brain because those aren’t words.
Mar 7

*Again* having the conversation about how I don’t have a penis. This is, apparently, so ridiculous that it doesn’t even REGISTER w/ Elliott.
Mar 7

“Hey mom, how old were you when Sesame Street first came out?” <–NOT BORN, KID. I also wasn't around to see dinosaurs, FYI.
Mar 8

When I was 5ish, I had this philosophy that I was actually still asleep in my crib dreaming a preview of my life. I just remembered that.
Mar 10

Note to self: learn to make salted lemonade.
Mar 10

Another thought I had as a child was that I would sometimes sleep for days or weeks an everyone was in on not telling me. Paranoid much?
Mar 14

(After the Hunger Games midnight show) You know what's stupid? The morning happening so soon.
Mar 23

Turns out a nap was good enough. Maybe it was a bit hasty to have put on the pj's at 4pm.
Mar 23

I'm buying more potato chips because society has failed me by not providing me with any Potato Chip Anonymous meetings in my area.
Mar 23

I had a full 10 hours of sleep last night so I don't need any coffee this morning. HAHAHA I'M KIDDING. I always need coffee. Always.
Mar 24

I just dropped some of my blood off at FedEx. Weirdest thing I've done all week.
Mar 26

The storm's not even totally gone yet and already my sinuses want to explode because of a Santa Ana. Hey, Weather? Calm the fuck down, ok?
Mar 26

Ode to the silverfish that's been sitting on my living room wall all day: Fucking LEAVE, already.
Mar 26

That silverfish is gone from my wall. Just now? I had a narrow miss when he fell off the ceiling in front of me. Well, played, asshole.
Mar 27

Do you ever just look down at your desk all like, "Where the frak did all these Hershey's coconut kiss wrappers come from?"
Mar 27

Word(s) of the day today: Crap Asshole. #motheroftheyear
Mar 27

I just bought Margie a neon green top. I'm recording this here so no one can ever say I wasn't supportive. #momoftheyear #thistimeforreals
Mar 31

In Which I Don’t Get Eaten By a Mountain Lion

8 04 2012

this is a lie

I had a day to myself today and after puttering around the house getting various things done, I decided to head out for a hike. I’d been wanting to go for a hike but didn’t have a date, and while hiking alone doesn’t bother me, I am less inclined to go if I don’t have anyone there I have to meet. So I surprised myself with a late afternoon visit to Mission Trails. I packed some water, snacks, and the book I’m currently (re)reading and headed out.

But I am me. And Me is anxious. Or cute. There’s a pin I’ve seen that threatens to seduce you with my awkwardness. I wonder now if I can also seduce people with my anxieties? Because if so? WATCH OUT WORLD.

But I digress.

Point being that there are signs as you enter the park about mountain lions and how to not get eaten by them. I’ve never worried about these signs before because I’ve never hiked alone. Also because I have never noticed these signs before.

Mission Trails isn’t desolate and lonely. I won’t hike in places that are. Not alone, anyway. That’s how you get killed by, well, mountain lions. Or bad people. Or possibly sasquatches (our local ones are called “zoobies“. True story). So there were mostly lots of people around (including ones high up on the hills climbing rocks and shouting, “THERE’S A BIG RATTLESNAKE BY YOUR DOG!” True story) except for when there weren’t. People around. If you lost me after that last parenthetical phrase. (What? I like parenthetical phrases. It’s like my catchphrase. Except it’s not a catchphrase at all. It’s a… catchpunctuation?)

Oy with the digression already!

So there was a time where I was totally alone. And it was beautiful. And I was quite proud of myself for loving the solitude, for I am a citygirl who is quite afraid of solitude. But here I was enjoying the moment. The birds were singing. There was a frog croaking. There was something giant moving in the bushes. WHAT? The thing about Nature is that “giant” things in bushes tend to be, like, tiny birds or lizards. But my brain had already moved on to tomorrow’s headlines, “Woman, 34, mauled by mountain lion IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN ROAD.” And then I knocked wood and forced myself to, like, think of hobbits and stuff. Thank god there aren’t horses at Mission Trails or I’d have been certain the ringwraiths were coming.

And now I’m never going to Mission Trails again.

But MOSTLY the hike was lovely. I stopped at the dam to read, but the flies were all, “Wow, this chick is seducing us with her anxieties!” so I didn’t get very far before I decided to head back.

The moral of the story is, I think, always bring xanax to Nature. Just in case.

pretty spot to rest

I Still Exist! (aka 7 Days Ketchup)

5 04 2012

I got so tired last week I never finished posting my 7 Days photos. So. Here they are.

7 Days: Day 5 (Fresh Coffee. Oh, yeah. And I’m hot.)
7 Days: Day 5 (Fresh Coffee.  Oh, yeah.  And I'm hot.)

I just bought a new electric kettle and today was the first day I pulled it out to use it. I was thinking I’d grab today’s photo in its reflection since I was using it to make, you know, fresh coffee, but then I noticed the lid has an awesome warning for you all regarding my hotness. Caution. I am hot.

What? You think they meant the boiling water? Nah.

7 Days: Day 6 (I feel like someone’s watching me…)
7 Days: Day 6 (I feel like someone's watching me...)

Yesterday we went to Disneyland. This photo was taken in the Tiki Room, if you’re unfamiliar with Disneyland scenery.

Yara was there, too, but we never found our way towards each other despite the fact that we were, apparently, riding the same rides at the same time. It was crowded. What can I say?

The kids experienced Captain EO for the first time. Margie was unimpressed, Elliott declared it AWESOME, and my friend’s son found a new music idol in Michael Jackson. As soon as we were out, he asked if MJ had ever made any other movies. I think I’ve finally found someone to watch Moonwalker with me.

7 Days: Day 7 (Mustache)
7 Days: Day 7 (Mustache)

Summer’s birthday. In which we:

~Learned the international symbol for bread and/or implements.
~Ate octopus (well, not Summer. And not me).
~Saw a couple across the room and dubbed them Captain Douchebag and Princess Enema (this is normal dinner conversation, right?)
~Drank sangria and/or Mexican Coke.
~Wore mustaches.
~Used the men’s room (either cause we were men or cause we were wearing mustaches). (It was a single-use room, so not really a big deal.) (The pretend-men did not use the urinal. As far as I know.)
~Took a field trip across the street to the ATM where we received $1’s and $5’s instead of the usual $20’s (WTF?) and we also received lots of compliments on the mustaches. (Not from the ATM. The compliments were from people on the street or in cars.)
~Dressed a breadstick up to the nines.
~Celebrated the birth of one of my very favorite people on the planet.
~Laughed and generally merry-made.