Tweets o’ February

Elliott, clearly not having grown up in the 1980’s: “Captain EO is a girl?”
Feb 1

Just saw a news report that said sugar is bad for you. It’s so stupid I can’t even think of a witty remark.
Feb 1

We get a free extra ride on Star Tours because I am wearing a Doctor Who shirt. WIN.
Feb 2

Kids just graduated Jedi Training Academy. It’s not Hogwarts but I’m still proud.
Feb 2

The baby next door woke me up and my aching legs (I’m old) wouldn’t let me sleep. But it’s ok. I’m watching “Ice Age Death Trap” on PBS.
Feb 3

Today the kids were exchanging pretend bad news (“Your kids are all dead and Doctor Who is canceled!”) and gigging like mad. Kids are weird.
Feb 3

Do you ever eat all the chocolate and the regret it because there is no more chocolate?
Feb 6

I’m so glad they are staring to advertise 2013 cars. This gives me hope that 2013 will, you know, happen.
Feb 7

Spam o’ the day: “Him will amuse the delicacy cats.” Him TOTALLY will.
Feb 10

Dear Pandora, When I said “Smashing Pumpkins” you replied, “Mayonaise.” Thank you.
Feb 11

It’s the kind of day where I slam my toes in the car door. Yes. Toes.
Feb 13

Say what you want about Umbridge, she has great taste in kitten plates. Oh! The mewing! I die of cute.
Feb 14

Also? I want a thestral.
Feb 14

I just sat here for 10 minutes thinking seriously about how I’ll wear my hair when I’m a metamorphmagus. Sometimes I forget what’s real.
Feb 14

Oh dear god. My dishwasher isn’t turning on.
Feb 15

Excuse me for not being online today. I’ll just be too busy riding the Millennium Falcon.
Feb 16

While I was off gallivanting with Han Solo, the dishwasher fairy came and left me a new dishwasher.
Feb 16

I just washed two fitted sheets and dried them in the same dryer. One sheet was completely tucked inside the other. I guess it won.
Feb 17

BEST. SPAM. EVER: “An absorbing word is worth scuttlebutt.”
Feb 18

Elliott wants me to make my hand a puppet for the rest of my life. Tall order, dude.
Feb 18

On this week’s 30 Rock Liz said she was PREGNANT WITH A CAT. I can’t tell if I’m pissed or if I love that she copied me.
Feb 19

I got dressed for a few hours today, decided it wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be and put on more pajamas.
Feb 19

You can tell it’s 2012 when PBS throws up hashtags during Masterpiece. The future is weirder than I expected. #DowntonPBS
Feb 19

I just had to explain what a busy signal is to Margie. Kids are so deprived.
Feb 20

You know, I love my “Welcome to Twin Peaks” t-shirt, but I do feel a little self-conscious wearing it being that I am, you know, a woman.
Feb 21

Winter. You know how it is. 87 degrees in February.
Feb 22

I have only recently realized that Cat Stevens’ “Wild World” is really passive-aggressive.
Feb 24

You know what’s stupid? No chocolate.
Feb 27

Just showed Elliott the Weird Al Phantom Menace song. His head appropriately exploded.
Feb 28

Elliott: Mom, tickle me on the brain!
Feb 28

I’m sitting at the park in 55-degree weather waiting for the kids’ PE to end. I’m cold. They owe me.
Feb 28

I walk away from the computer for half and hour & my first crush dies? I will miss you, Davy Jones.
Feb 29

My second crush was Warwick Davis. He better be around for a long, long time.
Feb 29

Huh. How did these pajamas get on me all cozy-like?
Feb 29

Today I bought a donut maker. So. Donuts for dinner!
Feb 29