Bye, 2011. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. (Here are the tweets.)

4 01 2012

That is all.

Oh. And here are the tweets.

Why? Why are all the people being stupid at me today? Why?
Dec 1

Margie, playfully, to me: Aw, it only took up six minutes arguing with you. You can’t even take up a ten minute argument. You’re worth nothing.
Dec 5

Margie: Right now is the future for 1981.
Dec 6

Why does autocorrect correct things to stuff it still doesn’t recognize? It’s like, “No clue what you were going for, but I’m righter.”
Dec 8

The Doctors are all playing against himself on Wii Sports Resort. Wow. Grammar is hard with time travelers.
Dec 10

Elliott, complimenting me: “I love your smelling.” Thanks, dude. I think.
Dec 14

Elliott, misunderstanding a Doctor Who line while reenacting the scene with Legos: “Look, they’re having fish sticks and fingers!”
Dec 14

You know what’s normal? A kid’s party at 10:30 pm. Normal for my neighbors, I mean. #feelingstabby
Dec 17

Totally just saw Wil Wheaton or his doppelgänger in La Mesa.
Dec 19

OK, pudding, I will make you now.
Dec 19

Gillian Anderson has one of my favorite noses. Just FYI.
Dec 20

It’s so disheartening to dust in the late afternoon sun when you can see the motes just waiting to land all over your shelves again.
Dec 21

I totally just had a bad dream about kittens. I didn’t know that was possible.
Dec 23

I was just wondering what happened to my Pet Shop Boys CD and then I remembered it was a cassette tape. Which I probably still have.
Dec 23

Jesus Christ Superstar totally counts as a Christmas movie, right?
Dec 24

Margie: I predict boredom!
Dec 29

Elliott: Ew! I hate drooling. Margie: Me, too, but I only do it when you’re annoying. (To punish him.)
Dec 29

Word to the wise: when your kid complains that something smells like poo, “your mom” is not, it turns out, a good reply.
Dec 29

Overheard in line at Blockbuster: “Lord of the Rings is another good trilogy. But not unless you watch The Hobbit first.”
Dec 30

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