I don’t think I’ve added November’s Tweets yet, have I?

11 12 2011

Time spent filling out government forms: 10 minutes. Time spent trying to make my printer print said forms: 40 minutes. Just not right.
1 Nov

It’s perfectly natural to have the intense desire to stab your printer in the face, right? Perfectly. Natural.
1 Nov

Wow. At Five Guys you get ALL THE FREE PEANUTS YOU WANT. Awesome.
1 Nov

Margie, after a lengthy conversation with her brother: And anyway, I’m never talking to you again, remember?
2 Nov

Is it weird that my bank (not a credit union) is trying to get in on Bank Transfer Day action? They totally are not invited to this party.
3 Nov

Elliott’s joke: Why did Elliott not become a pirate? Because he was a bad pirate!
4 Nov

Elliott, chiming in on Margie’s request: Yeah! Let’s have Old Man Dinner! … What’s Old Man Dinner?
4 Nov

Elliott proposed to me today. I told him it wasn’t legal, but he found a loophole that says it’s OK for little kids.
4 Nov

At 5:30 this morning I decided once and for all that I hate my neighbors. 5. 30.
5 Nov

Wow. Goriest episode of Mad Men ever. #scarredforlife
6 Nov

You know they always say not to try dangerous stuff that professionals do, but, honestly, the professionals had to start somewhere.
6 Nov

Aw, @threadless, why you gotta have TWENTY THREE AWESOME Muppet shirts today when I’m in t-shirt rehab? *trying not to relapse*
9 Nov

Someone set the fence on fire. I hate my neighbors.
9 Nov

My house smells like cookies, but there are no cookies, but now I WANT THE COOKIES.
9 Nov

Living with Margie is like living with a lawyer. I have to make sure I cover all possible loopholes in every sentence I speak. #needcoffee
10 Nov

I hate when a dream ends and my brain just gets up and walks out of the theatre without even seeing if there’s more sleep after the credits.
11 Nov

Trying to totally organize the kids’ room is sending me into a panic attack. Wondering now why I recycled my mom’s Ativan. #kidding #mostly
12 Nov

is sitting in a building that was built almost 10 years ago, but is already celebrating its 15th anniversary. Srsly.
14 Nov

My son is having his speech therapy via video phone. It’s the future already.
15 Nov

Wow. Dayquil is awesome.
17 Nov

I just got $170 worth of stuff for $36 at Old Navy. BOW TO ME.
18 Nov

“You’ve got healthcare bring run by private business. And believe me, that’s just the start of your problems.” -Torchwood, Miracle Day <-YES
19 Nov

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? <–Best song lyric ever.
20 Nov

Wow. That show ended with a giant, angry vagina. (Spoilers!)
20 Nov

Me: You guys are being obnoxious. Elliott: But that's because we are kids! Me: Touché, dude. Touché.
21 Nov

I hate to break it to Timon and Pumbaa, but their Hakuna Matata craze sort of did pass, actually.
23 Nov

You really can't tell how tiny Daniel Radcliffe is until he's in a lineup of average-sized guys. #MacysThanksgivingParade
24 Nov

Thanksgiving weekend is the only time I ever miss having a microwave. 20 minutes for leftover stuffing with gravy is just unreasonable.
25 Nov

It's the kind of winter day where I'm going to go snuggle down by the Yule tree in shorts with the fan on high.
28 Nov

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