Golden Rotten Eggs

13 11 2011

golden rotten eggs

Originally they were called Goldenrod Eggs, but my aunt, as a little girl, misunderstood and her version stuck. Because it’s more awesome.

Last week we had a special night in my mom’s name. I can’t really say a funeral, and it didn’t feel like a memorial either, and it was just as much a chance for those who’ve worked so hard on her house to get together and relax as it was a chance to remember her. So I don’t know what to call it, really.

Let me back up a bit. Mom’s house is pretty much done. Wanna see before and afters? Of course you do!

Her bedroom:

bedroom

bedroom.

The spare room:

the spare bedroom

master bedroom all shiny and gorgeous

You can see the whole set here.

And so we’re done.

I invited those friends (including my aunt) over for dinner last week during Dias de los Muertos. Er. Two weeks ago? This post has been in draft form for a looong time. Anyway, they came for a dinner in honor of my mother, and in honor of all the work we have done together.

Because Dia de los Muertos (and Samhain) is about family and ancestors, I chose to serve an old family recipe. I also chose to serve it because I rarely cook for people willing to eat it. For some reason, the people I’ve lived with since moving out of my mom’s home when I was 20 have not been big fans of eggs. This is sad for me, but I usually feast on Golden Rotten Eggs every year after Ostara since even kids who won’t eat them must dye hard boiled eggs. After-Ostara is one of the happiest food times of the year for me.

Golden Rotten Eggs, How To Make Them:
1. Make a white sauce. I’ll let you Google this because the fact of the matter is that I have a head cold and it’s simple enough to make, but complex enough that I don’t feel like trying to explain it. I will, however, say that I recommend actually measuring things out b/c I tried eyeballing the milk and made it too thin (I will never ever ever learn to follow my own advice. Never). Gluten-free people: Just sub your usual GF mix, it works just as well in my experience. In fact, I made the entire white sauce using all substituted ingredients since I can’t have the butter or cow milk.
2. Cut the hard boiled eggs, setting the yolks aside and chopping the whites up.
3. Mix the whites in the white sauce.
4. Pour the white sauce mixture over toast. You can dry-grill toast on the stove if your toaster oven gets broken and then stolen like mine did.
my toaster oven got broken and then stolen so I toasted bread on the stove
5. This is the fun bit: Put the hard boiled yolks in a strainer and mash them through onto the top of the rest of it. This part, apparently, looks like the goldenrod flower, but I never even knew this until I was 28 so it’s not necessary to know to enjoy the food. In any case, the food definitely does not resemble the Golden Rotten. I guess, unless you don’t like eggs, like all those people I live with.
and then you smash the yolks through the strainer

altar

We set up an altar for our passed-away loved ones, and after dinner we sat around and talked. We talked about my mom, what to do with her ashes (sand art, perhaps?) (it’s a joke. mostly), other family members we’d lost, and sexy big bird costumes (naturally). At the end of the evening, my aunt asked if it had brought the closure I was seeking. And while she quickly retracted it, knowing it may be too early to know, I’m glad she asked because, funny enough, it did. Even though it wasn’t a true funeral, and wasn’t focused solely on my mother and her memory, it really did click something in my brain or heart that changed things, subtly but truly. The emotional work isn’t over, but since that night I’ve been working with a simpler, more pure form of grief than I had previously.

After everyone left, I neatly piled all the dishes in the sink to wait until the morning, and I climbed into bed, emotionally spent and happy. With loads of leftovers to feel me all week long.

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7 responses

13 11 2011
bethany actually

Next time I come over for dinner, feel free to make us Golden Rotten Eggs! That sounds DELICIOUS to me.

I’m glad the party made you feel like closure is in sight.

13 11 2011
Summer Hellewell

It was a lovely night. šŸ™‚ And I liked your Golden Rotten Eggs. Didn’t we settle on “death tribute” per your mom’s own words? I liked it.

14 11 2011
ZebraBelly

Haha, yes. I need to look up exactly what she said to see if those were the right words. It was along those lines, though.

14 11 2011
clearheart

Death Tribute should have a song. Like a mix between something like a Souza march and Darth Vadar’s march plus a little bit of Joni Mitchell in there.

Yes, it was lovely and I’m glad it did the trick. I think the thing is that we need to allow things to be in cycles. You can come around again for more closure another time. It’s in the perfectionism that comes the upset. Just do what you do when you do it.

14 11 2011
ZebraBelly

Yes, I am prepared for more cycles through this in the future. Actually, I imagine it will be nonstop in some form or another for awhile, just different facets of it. It was helpful not only for the closure I received for that aspect of things, but also for seeing that it really will bring closure in the future as well, whatever I do on those occasions.

14 11 2011
Jess

Will you come help me clean out my mom’s house when she passes? It literally looks like that right now. I keep telling her that she doesn’t want to leave a mess like that for me, but I really think she can’t help it.

16 11 2011
Sarah

You did some stunning work in your Mom’s house. This kind of special evening is what I want for myself when the time comes – not a funeral, but a gathering of loved ones who can share what they want together. And eat good food.

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