1. I’ve been having random anxiety attacks this week. They are not about anything serious, but sometimes they are in the middle of the night, interfering with my sleep (which, in turn, interferes with my ability to handle them like a sane person) and the sheer amount of them is tiring. Like a bunch of preschool bullies ganging up on me. Except anxiety attacks and not small children. So that much less cute. Also that much less creepy if you happen to live in a horror movie.
2. My son has been getting hives again this week. In the middle of the night. He’s had mysterious hives twice before in his life, both incidences occurring during the summer months. The last time was two summers ago, but I always wondered if they’d come back. We never found a cause and it’s frustrating and a little scary and so very sad to watch him feel so miserable.
3. Add those two items together and count me too tired to have to deal with:
4. Lots of “growth” in my life right now. I put growth in quotes, not because it’s untrue, but because it feels more like “shit” at the moment and somehow that made it seem like it deserved sarcasm.
5. Also lots of judgement in my life right now. I don’t know why it’s wearing on me so much right now, but I just can’t tolerate people making judgments about other people right now and it makes me mad and sad and bitchy and it makes me open my big fat mouth and try to nicely tell people to STFU. And I don’t know why it feels so personal right now, perhaps because as I move farther into low-income status I feel more judged myself. It may also be that as I move farther into my work with SOAM and TIAW I see more sides to more stories and I feel hurt for people who might not have the same opportunities as other people, and it pisses me off when people get all snobby about the choices others make. Either way, added to everything else, it’s drained me this week.
6. PMS. Need I say more?
Now that I’ve vented all that, here’s some recent Happy: