Tweets of July (In a timely-ish fashion)

2 08 2010

Elliott: WOAH! The pee went fireworks!
11:54 AM Jul 1st via web

My son just pitched a fit when I put on patriotic music instead of TMBG. Clearly, he is a socialist.
1:13 PM Jul 1st via Twitter for iPhone

Honestly, lady, no matter how many times you call my cell phone, GLORIA WILL NOT ANSWER IT.
4:22 PM Jul 3rd via web

Words I never thought I’d have to say: “Margie please stop barking out the window at the neighbor kids.”
Sat Jul 03 2010 20:54:49 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Elliott, after sniffing my cheek: You smell very educational!
Sun Jul 04 2010 10:55:54 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

In-N-Out Burger is now approved by my kids. I think my life is complete now.
Sun Jul 04 2010 12:17:18 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for iPhone

Hike at Mission Trails today was even more of a WIN than last week. Grilling, frappuccino, fireworks later (hopefully). It’s a good day.
Sun Jul 04 2010 18:51:34 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Elliott and I have found a compromise: I can’t say no to a gun that shoots out money instead of hurting people. In fact, will someone invent that?
Wed Jul 07 2010 13:25:46 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Shaaaaaaaake!
Wed Jul 07 2010 16:55:19 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Fresh squeezed orange juice for breakfast? Oh yes I did. Served, naturally, with frozen waffles.
Sat Jul 10 2010 09:08:25 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for iPhone

ZebraBelly just entertained the kids by letting them give me a massage. WIN.
Tue Jul 13 2010 13:04:24 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

ZebraBelly is leavin’ on a jet plane. Just kidding. It’s totally a car.
Thu Jul 15 2010 12:59:42 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for iPhone

Pee stop. Already. And I can’t even blame the kids. *sigh*
Thu Jul 15 2010 14:17:29 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for iPhone

102 degrees. That. Is. All.
Fri Jul 16 2010 12:29:13 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for iPhone

Today I learned that installing a car seat using oven mitts is pretty awkward, actually. #102degreestoday #traumatized
Fri Jul 16 2010 21:37:18 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Today I learned that salsa splatters FAR.
Fri Jul 16 2010 21:37:54 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Dear weather, somewhere between freezing and roasting alive would be nice. Thx.
Sun Jul 18 2010 13:40:50 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for iPhone

The husband is watching videos on YouTube to learn how to install a new radiator. I feel afraid.
Sun Jul 18 2010 19:18:00 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Summer fruit cobbler for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Yes, please.
Sun Jul 18 2010 19:38:01 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

My acupuncturist informs me that the best sleep occurs if you go to bed before 11. She totally mean AM, right? Zzzzzzzz.
Tue Jul 20 2010 10:19:08 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

My car was uncooperatively cooperative at the mechanic.
Tue Jul 20 2010 16:56:32 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Alex just called to tell me he walked past Pauly Shore. I am assured that Pauly was not, at the moment at least, weezing the juice, bud-dy. #ComicCon
Thu Jul 22 2010 12:30:28 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Sometimes I just really miss Mac & Cheese.
Fri Jul 23 2010 18:04:11 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

ZebraBelly is wearing my new True Blood shirt from Comic Con. How do I explain “VILF” to an 8 year old?
Sat Jul 24 2010 19:10:57 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

ZebraBelly would like to thank my son. Without him, this sore throat would not be possible.
Sun Jul 25 2010 14:02:48 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

ZebraBelly is licking salt off a lemon. You know. For the sore throat.
Sun Jul 25 2010 19:42:10 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Oh so that WAS an earthquake I felt today.
Sun Jul 25 2010 22:09:51 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

ZebraBelly really dislikes Movie-Dumbledore.
Mon Jul 26 2010 14:49:49 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for iPhone

Margie’s joke: Which fish is most and least valuable? Goldfish! Because no one would think they are worth much, but they are GOLD!
Wed Jul 28 2010 12:51:41 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for iPhone

Elliott’s joke: What color is the fish? (Shouted in a restaurant for emphasis) POOP!
Wed Jul 28 2010 12:52:54 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for iPhone

My kids were super cute and fun yesterday. But today I’m selling them.
Thu Jul 29 2010 09:20:58 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

ZebraBelly just saw Eclipse. WTF with the armadillo engagement ring? Among other questions.
Thu Jul 29 2010 21:37:07 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for iPhone

ZebraBelly smells pumpkin pie. You’re welcome, Harry Potter.
Fri Jul 30 2010 11:42:06 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Last night I dreamed I was hanging out with Harrison Ford and the kids were all playing video games in the other room.
Fri Jul 30 2010 12:39:30 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

“Life’s like a movie, write your own ending.”
Sat Jul 31 2010 08:35:53 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

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