Recently (and Holiday Crafty)

30 12 2009

Truly, those lyrics from the previous entry speak of any kind of emotional wound. But the song, naturally, speaks to me for certain obvious reasons and a friend reminded me of it last week and I felt pulled to get them recorded. I can’t hear that line of the song without tearing up. But I think this is largely because I am a big ol’ crybaby wholly passionate and tear up any time any emotion happens within 60 yards of me.

Switch topics.

I miss blogging. I miss it deeply. I can’t find the time to get here and so many things I’d like to record here are getting lost to the universe. I don’t mean this in that excuse-making, “I’ll try to post more, I swear!” sort of way that so many bloggers have when they feel responsible to their readers. Rather, it’s that I am just horribly frustrated with my life right now – it seems nothing gets done for all the busy I am having happen right now. And, while I do feel responsible to you, my readers (OMG, what if they all get bored and leave and I never get any more comments???), I remind myself that this blog has always been for me and I simply won’t let guilt rule me any more in my life.

Well, that was disjointed.

Switch topics.

Holiday Craftiness! There wasn’t much this year, actually. I made my APU swap person this mug, thanks to inspiration from my friend Bethany.

gifted cup

gifted cup - top

And we also made these bottles of vanilla. Actually, my daughter made them. But you can read more about that here (and, apparently, Bethany is my muse this holiday season?).

homemade vanilla

While I was painting Shellee’s mug, I also made myself a sun ornament.

the ornament i painted this year

Oh and one more thing – the kids and I worked on Yule candles together with beeswax procured from the Waldorf School store. Five for us, to burn at sundown the night before, and five to share with our friends as the sun rose and Winter began.

the yule candles are burning

and the fire with all the strength it hath

Switch topic.

I spent today scrubbing. As it turns out, you should clean under the fridge every so often. Also, when you worry that brown widows are going to come into your bedroom and infest your house, you should probably be more concerned about the dining room. I tweeted a lot of f-words over that one.

I am on a mission to declutter this place. I’ve spent the last twoish years trying to make peace with clutter and trying to let my issues with it go, and I have come to understand that they aren’t issues, there isn’t peace to be made – this is who I am. Clutter and I do not get along. This is unfortunate for the Husband, but he seems to be taking it all well so far, and I think we are both making an effort to come to some middle ground on this. Or maybe he’s just thinking I will forget in a few days. Time will tell, I guess.

We moved in there four and a half years ago, and I was so in love with it at the time. It had a sweet little patio, a teeny back yard. I had visions for this little apartment. But then I fell into depression and health issues, and then we decided we’d buy a home instead of renting so I sort of gave up on it all and let my visions go, and let the clutter and crud pile up and it’s made me sicker and sicker (emotionally). I need clean. Clean surfaces. Clean under the fridge. Clean in my mind.

Years ago, I learned that This Is My Life – it doesn’t begin at some point in the future. I remember as a teenager waiting for that Last Thing to fall into place which would make my life “perfect” and I kept waiting to enjoy it. And I became conscious of that early on – maybe still in my teens – and so I have tried to live life for each day, despite what may or may not be perfect at this moment.

Yet, I’ve forgotten that for my home. I’ve let it go, while waiting and hoping to move. It hasn’t served me well. And so here I begin afresh, scrubbing, decluttering, making myself sane again. Hopefully.

Switch topic. Sorta.

And so, if I had to pick one word to work on this coming year, I think I would choose “respect.” For myself, for my children, for my husband, for my art, for myself.

And that, I think, just about sums up what’s been going on in my brain recently.

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6 responses

31 12 2009
bethany actually

Brown widows, UGH.

Clutter, bleah.

Living and embracing your life today because that’s all you’ve got, hooray! Doing something to make your life more peaceful, rock on.

Saying “Switch topic,” when you don’t have a graceful segue, awesome. I might steal that.

Also, I might steal your dottery design, which I totally and completely LOVE. I love that it’s dots but all the white space makes it sophisticated and serene somehow. Less goofy than my dot-covered pieces. 🙂

31 12 2009
Jess

Wow, you certainly were crafty! I love the mug and I’m sure Shellee does too!

31 12 2009
clearheart

Respect.
Good one.
This one word thing should be at least a little hard and maybe even scary to think of doing all the time.
I’ve really decided it will be choice for me.
I’m going to post about it later.
Happy De-Cluttering!
Oh, and if the man thinks you’ll forget – maybe you will. But I will remind you. So, HA!
Foiled again!

1 01 2010
Sarah

I love your take on dottery – so beautiful! As is the photo of the yule candles outside. Any more respect for your art would be very well placed.

1 01 2010
Jenny

I connect with you on so many of these issues: clutter, being emotional, and missing blogging. I also have had so little time to really sit down and concentrate long enough to blog anything even semi-meaningful; it sucks.

And we are currently drowning yet again in clutter, ugh. Luckily Henry *is* on board with getting rid of stuff to an extent. He was the one who got me started actually, but now that I have started, I find that he is more interested in me and (mostly) the kids getting rid of crap. Even though he probably has relatively little compared to them, he can still do his part (hello, how many surfboards, 3 bikes, never-used motorbike thing…). Guess I needed to vent and at least he won’t see it here!

2 01 2010
JenK

If you are going to use anyone as your crafty muse, Bethany is your girl. She rocks. I love that you took her Dottery and made it your own. That mug is beautiful.

Someone suggested a simple way to de-clutter recently: Every day get rid of one thing from your house that you don’t need or use. By the end of the year you will have de-cluttered 365 things. That should make some room in your life.

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