Oct-tweet-ber

9 11 2009

The thing about internet is that when it’s not working, you cant tweet your complaints about it.
4:07 PM Oct 1st from mobile web

zebrabelly is stalking firemen. Because that is the kind of friend I am.
11:38 AM Oct 3rd from mobile web

I have this belief that if I turn on my blinker the slow person in front of me will take that as a cue to turn and therefore torture me.
9:47 AM Oct 4th from mobile web

zebrabelly’s uterus is taking revenge.
8:11 AM Oct 5th from web

zebrabelly is only making plans for Nigel.
1:11 PM Oct 7th from mobile web

zebrabelly is totally against banning books. Except that it might actually be funny and entirely appropriate to ban Sarah Palin’s.
7:55 AM Oct 8th from web

Overheard: “So, like, my sisters are going to some boring country, or something…”
2:55 PM Oct 11th from mobile web

zebrabelly is BAFFLED that people are still teaching the Flat Earth inaccuracy in conjunction with Columbus.
9:42 PM Oct 11th from web

Elliott has a sore throat. Margie is personally offended.
7:34 AM Oct 12th from mobile web

Turns out I bought lemon-scented sponges. What. The. Fuck??? Gross.
10:05 AM Oct 12th from web

Elliott, watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: “Mary Poppins changed her hair color – she has white hair now!”
9:40 AM Oct 13th from web

Blasphemy? You decide. http://bit.ly/sHayr
11:13 AM Oct 13th from web

zebrabelly is wondering why they would ship my ebook via USPS?
8:28 AM Oct 14th from web

Elliott, playing hide and seek: “You hide here and I will come find you!”
10:12 AM Oct 14th from web

zebrabelly is going to a pumpkin patch today at Nate’s Butt Farm. Er. I mean Bate’s Nut Farm.
8:23 AM Oct 15th from web

zebrabelly has graduated from astragalus to echinecea.
10:52 AM Oct 17th from mobile web

sleazy license plate of the day: black BMW with “THAIGRR”.
11:41 AM Oct 17th from web

zebrabelly cannot tolerate people who use the word “cute” inappropriately.
3:54 PM Oct 18th from mobile web

We took school photos today. I get a parent-teacher ID card. Why do they always insist on showcasing my double chin?
11:19 AM Oct 19th from web

Margie’s future band names: The Sweetheart Ghostery and The Evil Hat Heads
4:08 PM Oct 19th from mobile web

So it turns out kids don’t like to watch short films in which babies burst into flames. Not even magic babies. Who knew?
9:15 PM Oct 19th from web

I am pretty sure that Today is out to get me.
10:46 AM Oct 21st from web

KUSI News just promised me breaking news tonight at 10. Do they know something I don’t? Don’t do it, KUSI!!!
8:42 AM Oct 22nd from web

Just for the record- aliens freak me the fuck out.
9:47 AM Oct 23rd from web

According to Elliott baseball caps on the right way are merely “baseball hats” but when worn backwards? Dance hats!
10:49 AM Oct 24th from web

Elliott thinks Spam (the food) is called Uncle Sam.
5:12 PM Oct 27th from mobile web

This is at LEAST as funny as Weird Al. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. http://bit.ly/P4E0f
5:48 PM Oct 27th from web

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