Tweets (mostly) from September, in which Mary Poppins stalks me

17 10 2009

ZebraBelly just found you you can fail homeschool. Is simultaneously amused and alarmed.
6:08 PM Aug 29th from web

I had a dream that I was having a dream that Starbucks wasn’t going to have pumpkin spice lattes this year. It was terrible.
7:58 AM Aug 30th from web

Dear man in the oversized truck driving like an asshole: It’s not a secret. We all know your penis is small.
10:01 AM Aug 30th from mobile web

The other night when Margie was crying about something Elliott told me, “Oh. My girlie is sad!” ♥
9:50 PM Aug 30th from web

Today is our first day of lessons and so far we have learned what happens when you piss mommy off.
7:58 AM Aug 31st from web

Elliott: I slipped! Can we put up a sign that says “wet floor”? Oh. I think we don’t have one. Can we buy one?
6:59 PM Aug 31st from web

Four years old is kicking my ass.
12:36 PM Sep 1st from web

ZebraBelly saw Jupiter and two moons tonight. ♥
9:13 PM Sep 2nd from web

ZebraBelly’s kids are watching Mary Poppins! ♥
1:06 PM Sep 3rd from web

Honestly, Mary Poppins always scared me a little.
2:44 PM Sep 3rd from web

Margie’s fit: I don’t wanna be a rag doll! Even if everyone wants me to!
3:33 PM Sep 3rd from web

My kids are watching Mary Poppins. Again. Have I mentioned it’s 400 degrees outside?
4:36 PM Sep 3rd from web

Five hours of Mary Poppins later and Elliott asks, “Can we watch it again?”
6:59 PM Sep 3rd from web

This morning I saw a sunrise of the darkest red. I basked in it until it turned orange and then I began my day, blessed.
8:08 AM Sep 4th from web

ZebraBelly is at the doctor’s office tryimg not to get swine flu.
10:33 AM Sep 4th from mobile web

Also- guess which movie is on in the waiting room? More proof the world revolves around me.
10:34 AM Sep 4th from mobile web

Hear the bells of the Museum Of Man. Quick picnic lunch then off to knitting group.
12:46 PM Sep 4th from mobile web

ZebraBelly just enjoyed Lorien’s polenta pizzas for dinner. And now I am going to marry Lorien. Hope that’s OK.
6:41 PM Sep 4th from web

Tonight I lie in bed, one child curled in each arm, watching the moonrise. A magical ending to match today’s magical beginning.
8:44 PM Sep 4th from web

And as if that wasn’t enough- my girlie and I watched the Fireworks show celebrating the little league team from her bedroom window. WIN!
8:45 PM Sep 4th from web

MORE fireworks – party on, Chula Vista!
9:27 PM Sep 4th from web

I get it now: President Gaius Baltar = President Zaphod Beeblebrox.
11:30 AM Sep 5th from web

Bob Dylan is a Cylon.
11:29 PM Sep 5th from web

OK, Uterus, WTF? 25 Days and you call it a cycle? Hrmpf.
6:22 PM Sep 6th from web

Apple cinnamon oatmeal for breakfast. Pumpkin spice in my coffee. I think I’m just going to pretend it’s fall already.
8:38 AM Sep 7th from web

This morning Margie found a brown widow sunbathing in our yard. WTF, Brown Widow? Don’t you know you are nocturnal?
2:31 PM Sep 8th from web

Swear to God – found Mary Poppins sitting randomly on a display at the library. Definitely being stalked. Thinking of calling the police.
12:36 PM Sep 9th from web

BTW – Margie yanked the book from me and I haven’t seen her since. ♥
12:37 PM Sep 9th from web

Having children means never having to press another elevator button myself.
2:19 PM Sep 9th from mobile web

Today is stupid. No wait, I need to say it in all caps: TODAY IS STUPID. There, now I feel better.
12:10 PM Sep 10th from web

Traffic held up by 2 guys fighting in the middle of E St. Someone tagged VCV on my van in the dust. Damn, CV, why you gotta be so ghetto?
1:10 PM Sep 10th from mobile web

Today Elliott forgot to put his pants on before he went outside. Like father, like son.
4:39 PM Sep 11th from web

ZebraBelly is crawling with baby spiders. WTF?
9:43 PM Sep 11th from web

We have visited the Disneyland outlet every time it comes for the past three years. Only this time did the have Mary Poppins t-shirts.
4:03 PM Sep 12th from mobile web

Birthday + riddles = scavenger hunt = proposal. I can’t believe no one else guessed! Congrats, Mel & Chad! Happy bday, Melty! ♥
7:28 PM Sep 12th from web

Good morning, scones. Say hello to my belly.
8:38 AM Sep 13th from web

Something in my fridge smells bad. If I was a millionaire, this would NEVER happen.
2:47 PM Sep 13th from web

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Via @TheBloggess
8:39 PM Sep 13th from web

ZebraBelly is leasing a four year old out for six months. We’ll take him back after that.
3:08 PM Sep 14th from web

Lunch = pumpkin bread, mixed nuts, kale “chips” and canteloupe in balboa park.
11:28 AM Sep 15th from mobile web

Pet Peeve: when adults speak to kids in third person.
11:36 AM Sep 16th from mobile web

There are, apparently, a very limited number of speech therapists in the world. Either that, or the world revolves around me.
12:41 PM Sep 16th from web

Margie is weaving. ❤
4:46 PM Sep 17th from web

As it turns out, Tony Curtis is not hot anymore. Also, he should wear pants.
8:27 AM Sep 18th from mobile web

ZebraBelly is thinking about cookies.
11:18 AM Sep 18th from web

Elliott: whoever wins, wins. And whoever lose, lose.
5:30 PM Sep 18th from mobile web

Margie, upon a compliment on her weaving: He must not know me very well or he wouldn't be so impressed. He'd already know how great I am.
6:59 PM Sep 18th from web

is doing more than just thinking about cookies now.
10:29 PM Sep 18th from web

Wearing two cameras (and a purse) slung across your chest for an hour or so in the apple orchard makes for a very weirdly shaped sunburn.
5:26 PM Sep 20th from web

Dinner: pumpkin spice scones with pear preserves, fresh picked apples, and cider.
6:11 PM Sep 20th from web

ZebraBelly balanced an egg today.
4:08 PM Sep 22nd from web

Elliott is on the toilet and as he sits there, he is reading "Everyone Poops". For inspiration, I guess.
11:28 AM Sep 23rd from web

Does apple pie count as a vegetable? Yes, I think so, too.
6:22 PM Sep 23rd from web

Channel 10: "Brown Widows spreading through county!!" No shit, Sherlock. Maybe a year and a half ago you could have shared this story, eh?
11:13 PM Sep 24th from web

Why does self-confidence not show up until well into adulthood? Because, honestly, it would have come in handy before that.
12:52 PM Sep 26th from web

ZebraBelly is headed to the casino. I have $4 burning a hole in my pocket!
2:11 PM Sep 26th from mobile web

ZebraBelly forgot that casinos smell like smoke. Gah.
2:43 PM Sep 26th from mobile web

ZebraBelly won 5 times over, but the machine won't pay out!
4:36 PM Sep 26th from mobile web

spent $3 and walked out with $8.
5:02 PM Sep 26th from mobile web

Dear bugs of all kinds, PLEASE STAY THE FRAK OFF OF MY BODY. Regards, Me
5:34 PM Sep 27th from web

Finally, something Obama and I totally disagree on:
11:14 AM Sep 28th from web

Overheard a kid outside: “I’m too PRETTY to die!”
12:05 PM Sep 28th from web

It appears to be an all-Madonna day here at Borders.
3:56 PM Sep 29th from mobile web

Elliott, on kilbasa: “It’s pretending to be a hotdog?”
4:32 PM Sep 29th from mobile web