Poison, Poison and More Poison

13 10 2009

Many years ago, back in my former life when I was working, I attended a holiday party for our department at the Head of Admin’s home. This woman, we will call her Peg because that is her name and because I don’t give a shit if she Googles herself, was, shall we say, not my favorite person ever. She was kind of a bitch in a lot of really sick ways. Anyway, at some point during the party, my forever-friend Sandy wandered into Peg’s guest bathroom and started poking through the medicine cabinets, hoping she might find something for her contacts. Instead what she found was a bottle, clearly labeled, “POISON.” She called me into the bathroom where we giggled and probably embarrassed ourselves in a lot of interesting ways, trying to figure out what.the.fuck? Why would someone have such a thing? What kind of poison, exactly, was it? And it’s not like we could ask her – we’d violated her privacy! So we were left to wonder all these years later.

And I still don’t have the answer, so if you were hoping for some sort of end to this, then, um, sorry.

BUT! I decided to carry on the tradition. I shared some of my Thieve’s Oil with a friend who’s having tooth pain and I figured she probably did not yet have a bottle labeled, “poison” so it’s not like it would get mixed up with the others (I realize I am assuming a lot here) and this way, she has her own defense (or form of amusement) toward any nosy guests.

a gift of poison

And why should she have all the fun? I happened to be making up a fancy cold and flu remedy to keep in the fridge this week and figured, why not? It would not all fit into the one bottle I had, so I get two! bottles of poison!

more poison

The Husband says it would be better with an “Old Timey” (technical term) label, but I, personally, think handwritten is kind of more fucked up.

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11 responses

13 10 2009
bethany actually

So what’s in the cold & flu remedy?

13 10 2009
bethany actually

Besides poison, I mean. Obviously.

13 10 2009
bethany actually

WordPress just scolded me for leaving comments too quickly.

13 10 2009
Corey

Totally awesome.

14 10 2009
Sarah

Hmm, the cold remedy has to be kept in the fridge, which leads me to believe it’s Baileys. Hell, I’d dose up on that.

14 10 2009
Jill

LOL.

I’m a sucker for wacky packaging anyway. Off to write “poison” on assorted bottles…

14 10 2009
Sonja

Heee, hee. Is it lame if I copy-cat this?
Also, I second Bethany… I must know what’s in the cold and flu poison (though please don’t tell me it’s onions in sugar water – CHILDHOOD TRAUMA!!!!)!

14 10 2009
Anna O

Have I told you lately that I love you?

16 10 2009
clearheart

I know you really labeled it that way because you have a hard time spelling Thieve’s Oil.
Wait, did I just spell that wrong?!
LOL

16 10 2009
ZebraBelly

Actually, once I looked at the bottle I had a moment of panic b/c “poison” looked really weird and wrong to me. But it was just my brain, not my mad spelling skillz. 😉

18 11 2009
Elaine

I so want a bottle of poison for Solstice.

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