Poison, Poison and More Poison

13 10 2009

Many years ago, back in my former life when I was working, I attended a holiday party for our department at the Head of Admin’s home. This woman, we will call her Peg because that is her name and because I don’t give a shit if she Googles herself, was, shall we say, not my favorite person ever. She was kind of a bitch in a lot of really sick ways. Anyway, at some point during the party, my forever-friend Sandy wandered into Peg’s guest bathroom and started poking through the medicine cabinets, hoping she might find something for her contacts. Instead what she found was a bottle, clearly labeled, “POISON.” She called me into the bathroom where we giggled and probably embarrassed ourselves in a lot of interesting ways, trying to figure out what.the.fuck? Why would someone have such a thing? What kind of poison, exactly, was it? And it’s not like we could ask her – we’d violated her privacy! So we were left to wonder all these years later.

And I still don’t have the answer, so if you were hoping for some sort of end to this, then, um, sorry.

BUT! I decided to carry on the tradition. I shared some of my Thieve’s Oil with a friend who’s having tooth pain and I figured she probably did not yet have a bottle labeled, “poison” so it’s not like it would get mixed up with the others (I realize I am assuming a lot here) and this way, she has her own defense (or form of amusement) toward any nosy guests.

a gift of poison

And why should she have all the fun? I happened to be making up a fancy cold and flu remedy to keep in the fridge this week and figured, why not? It would not all fit into the one bottle I had, so I get two! bottles of poison!

more poison

The Husband says it would be better with an “Old Timey” (technical term) label, but I, personally, think handwritten is kind of more fucked up.