Recently Crafty

27 10 2009

Despite the fact that there is a pottery-painting place in my own town, I have always gone to the one closer to Bethany because I found the prices to be more reasonable. However, I recently came across a Groupon (which is, despite what you might think, actually totally safe for work) which got me $50 worth of stuff for only $20. Nice. So The Husband and I took some time out and headed over there together.

Not too long ago, I had wandered in there, hoping their high prices had just been in my imagination (they had not) and I saw this very cool leaf-man who would make the perfect Mabon decoration. Luckily for me, he was still there – clearly waiting for me. I think he turned out not too bad, eh? Here he is before and after firing.

green man, unfinished

green man, autumn edition

I’ve also been working – slowly – on a cool shirt for The Daughter. It’s my very first foray into knitting an actual garment, but it’s so far very simple and is TOTALLY SO CUTE. But I haven’t got very far, as you can see below. In reality, I am ready to begin the armholes, but haven’t got a newer picture. You see the final version here at Shellee’s Etsy shop.

knitting-in-progress, shirt

And I thought that was all I had, but my Flickr Photostream tells me otherwise. I’ve had this post in my head for so long I totally forgot I had finished this hat again. I even wore it today and still forgot. It was the very first hat I ever made, back in 2006, and it was a little too short. I had always intended to rip it out, but some friends pointed out that I could just pick up some stitches and lengthen it instead. So that’s what I did. You can see before and after here:


hat, finished again


Close Your Eyes

21 10 2009

My son doesn’t like to look at poop. He has come up with an ingenious technique for dealing with this: he closes his eyes. He keeps them closed as he gets off the potty, hangs up his tiny seat and flushes. It’s terribly cute and funny. Today, as I went in to wipe his butt, he told me I should close my eyes.

“Oh, but I can’t because I need to make sure your butt is clean.”

“You LIKE to look at poop?”

“Well… no.”

“Well, then. Close your eyes.” (I can almost hear the “dumbass” that should follow that statement.)

Bonus question: How old were your kids when you stopped wiping them? I figure I have at least six months from potty training (last June) before I begin that next step.

On Trusting Myself

19 10 2009

In this area, I am broken. There are, as with any big problem, many causes for this. One reason is that I happened to be born with an intense fear of feeling foolish. It manifests in the obvious things like being wrong about something. But also in ways that are less conventional – costume parties terrify me, as a child I hated to be observed while playing or making up songs, or getting too “into” a role. This deep hatred of being foolish, or stupid, or wrong, has affected every single part of my life significantly. I am trying to deconstruct this aspect of me, keeping it intact only when it does not injure me. The other cause is, of course, society’s message to me, to us, that we are not worthy of our own trust.

Recommended to me years ago, by multiple sources, is Gavin De Becker’s book, Protecting the Gift. It has finally come into my hands and I am kicking myself for not reading it sooner. It’s fabulous in every way. He is respected by all mainstream sources (works for high-ranking government, in fact), and yet he speaks of intuition and the “wild brain” in a way that empowers one to accept herself as a trustworthy source, even in supposed absence of logical reasons to feel a certain way. He points out that nature is deeply invested in us as a species and has given us intuition as a way to protect ourselves, he uses animals to illustrate this. And, for some reason, making this scientific in the way that he does, allows me to grasp it and use it. My spirituality has been wounded, and through this book, I think I may find my way back to things that are less black and white.

In the first chapters, De Becker speaks of fear – but not as something negative, rather as a tool. Fear will direct you when needed. He also speaks of worry and he differentiates between the two. Where fear is a reaction to an immediate danger, worry is useless. He points out that seeing a volcano erupt doesn’t cause worry, it causes running. The fear tells you exactly what to do: get the hell away.

I’m only into chapter five at this point, but each chapter gets better; more empowering, more informative, more important. I’m going to make The Husband and the MIL read at least certain chapters. And I’ll keep posting here as I work my way through the book (and through my brain and subsequent issues). In the mean time – go buy a copy if you haven’t read it yet!

Tweets (mostly) from September, in which Mary Poppins stalks me

17 10 2009

ZebraBelly just found you you can fail homeschool. Is simultaneously amused and alarmed.
6:08 PM Aug 29th from web

I had a dream that I was having a dream that Starbucks wasn’t going to have pumpkin spice lattes this year. It was terrible.
7:58 AM Aug 30th from web

Dear man in the oversized truck driving like an asshole: It’s not a secret. We all know your penis is small.
10:01 AM Aug 30th from mobile web

The other night when Margie was crying about something Elliott told me, “Oh. My girlie is sad!” ♥
9:50 PM Aug 30th from web

Today is our first day of lessons and so far we have learned what happens when you piss mommy off.
7:58 AM Aug 31st from web

Elliott: I slipped! Can we put up a sign that says “wet floor”? Oh. I think we don’t have one. Can we buy one?
6:59 PM Aug 31st from web

Four years old is kicking my ass.
12:36 PM Sep 1st from web

ZebraBelly saw Jupiter and two moons tonight. ♥
9:13 PM Sep 2nd from web

ZebraBelly’s kids are watching Mary Poppins! ♥
1:06 PM Sep 3rd from web

Honestly, Mary Poppins always scared me a little.
2:44 PM Sep 3rd from web

Margie’s fit: I don’t wanna be a rag doll! Even if everyone wants me to!
3:33 PM Sep 3rd from web

My kids are watching Mary Poppins. Again. Have I mentioned it’s 400 degrees outside?
4:36 PM Sep 3rd from web

Five hours of Mary Poppins later and Elliott asks, “Can we watch it again?”
6:59 PM Sep 3rd from web

This morning I saw a sunrise of the darkest red. I basked in it until it turned orange and then I began my day, blessed.
8:08 AM Sep 4th from web

ZebraBelly is at the doctor’s office tryimg not to get swine flu.
10:33 AM Sep 4th from mobile web

Also- guess which movie is on in the waiting room? More proof the world revolves around me.
10:34 AM Sep 4th from mobile web

Hear the bells of the Museum Of Man. Quick picnic lunch then off to knitting group.
12:46 PM Sep 4th from mobile web

ZebraBelly just enjoyed Lorien’s polenta pizzas for dinner. And now I am going to marry Lorien. Hope that’s OK.
6:41 PM Sep 4th from web

Tonight I lie in bed, one child curled in each arm, watching the moonrise. A magical ending to match today’s magical beginning.
8:44 PM Sep 4th from web

And as if that wasn’t enough- my girlie and I watched the Fireworks show celebrating the little league team from her bedroom window. WIN!
8:45 PM Sep 4th from web

MORE fireworks – party on, Chula Vista!
9:27 PM Sep 4th from web

I get it now: President Gaius Baltar = President Zaphod Beeblebrox.
11:30 AM Sep 5th from web

Bob Dylan is a Cylon.
11:29 PM Sep 5th from web

OK, Uterus, WTF? 25 Days and you call it a cycle? Hrmpf.
6:22 PM Sep 6th from web

Apple cinnamon oatmeal for breakfast. Pumpkin spice in my coffee. I think I’m just going to pretend it’s fall already.
8:38 AM Sep 7th from web

This morning Margie found a brown widow sunbathing in our yard. WTF, Brown Widow? Don’t you know you are nocturnal?
2:31 PM Sep 8th from web

Swear to God – found Mary Poppins sitting randomly on a display at the library. Definitely being stalked. Thinking of calling the police.
12:36 PM Sep 9th from web

BTW – Margie yanked the book from me and I haven’t seen her since. ♥
12:37 PM Sep 9th from web

Having children means never having to press another elevator button myself.
2:19 PM Sep 9th from mobile web

Today is stupid. No wait, I need to say it in all caps: TODAY IS STUPID. There, now I feel better.
12:10 PM Sep 10th from web

Traffic held up by 2 guys fighting in the middle of E St. Someone tagged VCV on my van in the dust. Damn, CV, why you gotta be so ghetto?
1:10 PM Sep 10th from mobile web

Today Elliott forgot to put his pants on before he went outside. Like father, like son.
4:39 PM Sep 11th from web

ZebraBelly is crawling with baby spiders. WTF?
9:43 PM Sep 11th from web

We have visited the Disneyland outlet every time it comes for the past three years. Only this time did the have Mary Poppins t-shirts.
4:03 PM Sep 12th from mobile web

Birthday + riddles = scavenger hunt = proposal. I can’t believe no one else guessed! Congrats, Mel & Chad! Happy bday, Melty! ♥
7:28 PM Sep 12th from web

Good morning, scones. Say hello to my belly.
8:38 AM Sep 13th from web

Something in my fridge smells bad. If I was a millionaire, this would NEVER happen.
2:47 PM Sep 13th from web

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Via @TheBloggess
8:39 PM Sep 13th from web

ZebraBelly is leasing a four year old out for six months. We’ll take him back after that.
3:08 PM Sep 14th from web

Lunch = pumpkin bread, mixed nuts, kale “chips” and canteloupe in balboa park.
11:28 AM Sep 15th from mobile web

Pet Peeve: when adults speak to kids in third person.
11:36 AM Sep 16th from mobile web

There are, apparently, a very limited number of speech therapists in the world. Either that, or the world revolves around me.
12:41 PM Sep 16th from web

Margie is weaving. ❤
4:46 PM Sep 17th from web

As it turns out, Tony Curtis is not hot anymore. Also, he should wear pants.
8:27 AM Sep 18th from mobile web

ZebraBelly is thinking about cookies.
11:18 AM Sep 18th from web

Elliott: whoever wins, wins. And whoever lose, lose.
5:30 PM Sep 18th from mobile web

Margie, upon a compliment on her weaving: He must not know me very well or he wouldn't be so impressed. He'd already know how great I am.
6:59 PM Sep 18th from web

is doing more than just thinking about cookies now.
10:29 PM Sep 18th from web

Wearing two cameras (and a purse) slung across your chest for an hour or so in the apple orchard makes for a very weirdly shaped sunburn.
5:26 PM Sep 20th from web

Dinner: pumpkin spice scones with pear preserves, fresh picked apples, and cider.
6:11 PM Sep 20th from web

ZebraBelly balanced an egg today.
4:08 PM Sep 22nd from web

Elliott is on the toilet and as he sits there, he is reading "Everyone Poops". For inspiration, I guess.
11:28 AM Sep 23rd from web

Does apple pie count as a vegetable? Yes, I think so, too.
6:22 PM Sep 23rd from web

Channel 10: "Brown Widows spreading through county!!" No shit, Sherlock. Maybe a year and a half ago you could have shared this story, eh?
11:13 PM Sep 24th from web

Why does self-confidence not show up until well into adulthood? Because, honestly, it would have come in handy before that.
12:52 PM Sep 26th from web

ZebraBelly is headed to the casino. I have $4 burning a hole in my pocket!
2:11 PM Sep 26th from mobile web

ZebraBelly forgot that casinos smell like smoke. Gah.
2:43 PM Sep 26th from mobile web

ZebraBelly won 5 times over, but the machine won't pay out!
4:36 PM Sep 26th from mobile web

spent $3 and walked out with $8.
5:02 PM Sep 26th from mobile web

Dear bugs of all kinds, PLEASE STAY THE FRAK OFF OF MY BODY. Regards, Me
5:34 PM Sep 27th from web

Finally, something Obama and I totally disagree on:
11:14 AM Sep 28th from web

Overheard a kid outside: “I’m too PRETTY to die!”
12:05 PM Sep 28th from web

It appears to be an all-Madonna day here at Borders.
3:56 PM Sep 29th from mobile web

Elliott, on kilbasa: “It’s pretending to be a hotdog?”
4:32 PM Sep 29th from mobile web

Poison, Poison and More Poison

13 10 2009

Many years ago, back in my former life when I was working, I attended a holiday party for our department at the Head of Admin’s home. This woman, we will call her Peg because that is her name and because I don’t give a shit if she Googles herself, was, shall we say, not my favorite person ever. She was kind of a bitch in a lot of really sick ways. Anyway, at some point during the party, my forever-friend Sandy wandered into Peg’s guest bathroom and started poking through the medicine cabinets, hoping she might find something for her contacts. Instead what she found was a bottle, clearly labeled, “POISON.” She called me into the bathroom where we giggled and probably embarrassed ourselves in a lot of interesting ways, trying to figure out what.the.fuck? Why would someone have such a thing? What kind of poison, exactly, was it? And it’s not like we could ask her – we’d violated her privacy! So we were left to wonder all these years later.

And I still don’t have the answer, so if you were hoping for some sort of end to this, then, um, sorry.

BUT! I decided to carry on the tradition. I shared some of my Thieve’s Oil with a friend who’s having tooth pain and I figured she probably did not yet have a bottle labeled, “poison” so it’s not like it would get mixed up with the others (I realize I am assuming a lot here) and this way, she has her own defense (or form of amusement) toward any nosy guests.

a gift of poison

And why should she have all the fun? I happened to be making up a fancy cold and flu remedy to keep in the fridge this week and figured, why not? It would not all fit into the one bottle I had, so I get two! bottles of poison!

more poison

The Husband says it would be better with an “Old Timey” (technical term) label, but I, personally, think handwritten is kind of more fucked up.


12 10 2009

Sometimes drunk people are funny. Sometimes not so much.

I had an errand at the grocery store today and, for several small reasons, I went to a store out of our area. On the way in, a man asked me if I was a registered voter. This man was not holding a clipboard like he should have been – usually these people have little tables set up, but at the very least they are holding one or several clipboards and pens. This man? Was totally holding a beer. It was cleverly disguised in a paper bag, though, so I think I was supposed to pretend I didn’t see it.

I, on the other hand, was carrying a ginormous four-year-old with a mild (so far, knock wood) head cold who was still groggy from a nap, and was hurrying after a seven-year-old with an unpredictable gut who had to use the restroom. So I just walked in without signing the man’s beer petition. I mentioned to the first employee I saw that he maybe would want to check out the situation and he assured me he would.

But I guess he didn’t.

We walked to the car and, as I was buckling the son in, I realized the man had followed us to the car. Still without a clipboard, although he had put the beer down (or finished it) but I could smell it on his breath. He asked me again if I was registered to vote and I told him no. Which is a lie, but it was code for, “Get the fuck away from me.” I don’t remember exactly what happened next – maybe he asked me why – but I ended up asking him, “Would you please leave me alone?” He told me no, and made himself firm on his spot. At this point, I began panicking inside, wondering how far this would go, but he turned and left.

I closed E’s door, and walked around the van to close the other door when he started yelling at me. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but I responded with pointing out that he had no paperwork, and that he was, in fact, drinking. He didn’t like that very much and told me he wasn’t. I reminded him that I had seen the beer in his hands (really, alcoholics? does it make sense to blatantly lie like that? WTF?). At this point he mumbled a threat at me (well, it started out as yelling, and ended as a mumble), wrote down my license plate number, grabbed his beer and clipboard (it existed) from where it had been placed around the corner, well out of view, and walked off.

I tried calling 911 during all this, but first my iPhone wasn’t working (it’s been doing this lately), and by the time I got hold of someone, he’d left and there was no point to the call, really.

The kids are upset, as am I. The Daughter grilled me the whole way home about why this happened and how safe we are. The Son reminded me that “the man said he would not go! He said ‘STAY!’ I don’t love that man.” I feel shaky and vulnerable. And pissed. I intend to let the store manager know why I won’t be shopping there again.

I don’t think I handled any of it very well. I should have been more assertive, more bold. More peaceful. But what’s done is done.

In my life, I am constantly comparing myself to my mother – making sure to keep myself sane. And this is exactly the type of situation that my mother would involve herself in, but in a crazy sort of way. Like the time she called the cops because Brake Depot tried to overcharge me. Or the time that she called the cops because she saw a tire on the side of the road and decided it was a bomb. Even though this thing happened to me today only about an hour ago, I have replayed it dozens of times in my head to make sure I wasn’t being crazy. I don’t feel that I was.

What I need now is a nap. And maybe a hug.

7 Days: Day 7 (Goodbye Again)

9 10 2009

7 Days: Day 7 (Goodbye Again)

I am having a big fat technology fail today.

Wait. Let me back up.

In the wee hours of the morning, I had a dream about this last entry for this run of 7 Days. I had taken a walk on a path covered with pine needles and filmed my feet. And you were all "there" leaving me comments, only maybe we were all at some party or something instead of you all living inside my computer like you usually do.

Knowing we’d be in a coniferous park today, I spent the whole day looking forward to my mind’s idea coming true. There wasn’t a needle-covered path, but we did take a short walk along a flat-leaf covered autumn-looking trail that I thought would do well. And it did. And I uploaded the videos. And then Flickr made a big fart and told me, "Nope, sorry, I don’t do THAT kind of Kodak video! Sorry. Maybe someday." But "someday" is not a lot of help for today.

Luckily for you and me and the nice people at Flickr, I had taken yesterday’s last-minute shot as a lesson and I took several shots today just in case I needed a backup. I wasn’t 100% thrilled with any of them, but this one seems a nice sentiment for the end of an autumnal run.

Have a great couple of months and we will see you in December!

(PS. Here is the video over on YouTube. Take THAT, Flickr.)