Today is Stupid

24 06 2009

(And it’s not even Thursday.)

This afternoon:
~I ran a couple of quick errands with the kids (and here you will laugh and laugh because I just wrote “quick” and “errand” and “kids” all in the same sentence). My son has this selective hearing thing where I have to repeat myself about 400 times before he is even aware that I am speaking to him. And then he says, “Whatchoo say?” which was cute the first time, but once I realized it meant I’d have to repeat myself a 401st time, it got uncute. And I have to make sure I repeat myself quickly before he forgets he is listening to me. It makes errands so.much.fun. /sarcasm.
~By the time my quick errands were over, we were 15 minutes away from the library where M was scheduled for a MoPA “workshop” in only 10 minutes. Luckily I have that delorean time machine. CRAP. No, that was just a movie. We arrived late.
~AND once we pulled into the parking lot we discovered it was FULL. Never in all my life have I seen that parking lot FULL. So I ended up parking on a residential street two blocks away. And not cursing as much as you would think. (Note to self: walk next time. It’s good for the heart, the environment, and the parking lot.)
~As soon as M was situated in her class, I ran to the bathroom and asked E if he wanted to join me. He said no and since he’d peed not too long before, I figured it was OK. You can see where this is going right? Yeah. But since there wasn’t a puddle, I let him sit in it because the car was parked two blocks away. Not that I am bitter or anything.
~Should I add here that none of the books I wanted were available? No? OK.
~On the way home I didn’t win Killers tickets for the second time in two days. If this keeps up, I’m going to have to PAY. And Brandon Flowers, lyrical genuis though he is, is twitchy and wears feathers and I’m not sure that’s worth $50. Maybe if I close my eyes.
~Speaking of music in the car, I can no longer listen to my iPod in the car because the connection is bad between the adapter and the phone. I’m not sure which part is bad, but it keeps coming loose and sounds awful. The adapter only (that’s a sarcastic “only”) cost me $100. Maybe I could sell it on Craigslist for Killers tickets. I would throw in some feathers.
~Remember how my son peed his pants at the library? Well, he pooed them when we got home. Yay. He didn’t want to see or smell it. Neither did I, man.

That’s all so far (isn’t it enough?). But I promise to update you in realtime if anything else goes entertainingly bad.

UPDATE: And by “realtime” I mean, “as soon as the crisis is dealt with.” Because not 2 minutes (I swear to God) after this post was published, I discovered my sweet son who I promise not to flog had actually pooped on the motherfucking COUCH and then trailed little crumbly (but easy to clean up so long as they had not been squished into the carpet – and they had not been) poo-bits around the house. FUCK. I know you are not supposed to lose your tempter with potty-trainers, but I get a free pass after this afternoon, right?

ETA: Also, I noticed as I was cleaning up the poo, that I kept thinking of trips to Chuck E Cheese when I was a kid. I am thinking I have some fucked-up repressed memories, no?

ETA 2: When I told The Son I had to clean the couch, he told me, “Have fun!” Stinker.

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4 responses

24 06 2009
Jess

oh hon, you need a hug. or a break. or a stiff drink. Or all three!

Tomorrow WILL be better. It has to be.

25 06 2009
Jenny

I’m so sorry. Jonas has been sitting backwards to pee on the toilet lately and sprays all over the back of the seat and on the floor. I am so tired of cleaning behind the toile,t SO tired of it. But poop is worse.

25 06 2009
Jenny

WTH happened to my comma there?

25 06 2009
Anna

Oh honey. I love you. You are hilarious even when you are ranting.

((hug))

I hope today is better!

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