30 Tiny Moments: Day 14

14 11 2008

Day 14

Tonight I caused havoc at the movies. It’s true, I am 30 years old and still getting kicked out of theaters. (That is hyperbole in more ways than one.)

You see, I spent the afternoon raiding my pantry for chili to take to my best friend’s niece who is babymooning. Melissa (who is my friend who has the niece), and I were planning to take Caity the chili and sniff the baby. I had planned to make the tiny toes my tiny moment for the day. Unfortunately, Caity ended up being… not home… so I left the chili in Melissa’s capable fridge and we headed out to see The Secret Life of Bees.

At which we cried much.

In any case, I was at concessions waiting for my popcorn when an usher walked over to me and asked me the strangest question I have ever been asked inside a movie theater:

"Are you here to see a movie?"

I gaped at him and asked him to repeat himself. Then did my best not to burst into giggles* and informed him that his guess was, indeed, accurate.

But what could have been simple flirting-gone-wrong turned into a crime. He informed me I wasn’t supposed to bring my camera in. I informed him that if he thought I was leaving it in the car he could think again. He informed me I could talk to the manager about it. I informed that, OK, sure. I’ll do that. And then I didn’t.

Thinking I had got away with something wonderful, I sat peacefully waiting for the movie to begin. Suddenly, I saw him enter the theater with another usher. Damn. Why did I have to sit in the front? I pretended not to see him just in case that would make him go away. It didn’t work.

They came up to me and informed me – again – that I could not bring my camera in. I informed them – again – that I wasn’t leaving it in the car. They informed me that they would happily take it and lock it up for me. I informed them that "HAHAHAHAHAHA bite me!"

So they left with promises to return. I sat nervously in anticipation.

When they came back, they brought yet another guy with them. (If I had kept it up, I could have had an army of minions by now) He and I had an exchange that went like this:

He: You can’t have your camera in here.

I: I’m not leaving it in the car and I’m not leaving it with you.

He: Well, you can’t have it here.

I: Tell you what. I’ll leave it with you if you give me $900 cash to hang on to while you have my $900 camera in your possession. Deal?

He: No.

I: Funny how that works, isn’t it?

In the end, I offered to let him call the cops and he promised to tattle to his boss on me with the threat that his boss could legally have me kicked out.

I: But I don’t think your boss wants to do that.

He: (Knowing he had lost) No, I don’t think so, either.

And they left us alone. All in all they were very polite about it, and I wasn’t rude at all – but I was quite firm. I really do understand why they have this policy. I used to work at a theater, I don’t blame them. But I had informed them many times over that my camera didn’t have video capabilities and I even swore to God that I would not take any pictures inside the theater. Which is why I don’t have any tiny moments from inside the theater.

Long story short: here is my tiny moment for today. It’s only the second time I was sort of kicked out of a theater, but not the first time I’ve done anything illegal at a movie theater. Just ask me about the vase of flowers.

*If I had caught Melissa’s eye at this point we would have both lost control.

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5 responses

15 11 2008
Anna

I love you, Bonnie.

15 11 2008
Jess

That, will always be quite a memory!!

15 11 2008
Corey

Are those security dudes walking away in the background? ‘Cause if you shot that on purpose (even though they weren’t in your story) I need to shake your hand.

15 11 2008
ZebraBelly

It was pure luck, Corey. I stood there taking a pic and they walked by and I knew I could not NOT take a pic with them in it.

16 11 2008
Corey

Awesome. Totally.

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