Leadership

30 10 2008

I don’t have time to make this very well written right now as I have to run off to ST for the littler child and then to spend all day carving and baking in preperation for tomorrow, but I wanted to get this out there and maybe hear some opinions.

I am happy to lead when it comes to various groups I am a part of. But I am terrified to have to speak in front of people. I cannot command attention well, and I feel shy and shaky and sick to my stomach when I have to. Even when those people I am trying to lead happen to be children. Sometimes especially when those people are children.

There are two instances recently I have gotten myself into where I am at least somewhat expected to lead groups of kids. I have told the others involved that I want to help in any capacity that does not require me to be the teacher, but saying so makes me feel guilty – as though I am pushing the work off on others. And I am afraid I may be seen that way as well. I felt it was better to be up front about what I felt I could handle from the beginning, but actually saying those words out loud to people makes me wonder if I was wrong? I feel as though The Universe is sending me a message, giving me a new assignment for self-growth, but I feel ornery about that. I feel like I am working on myself in so many other ways right now and I’d like to put this on the backburner for at least a little while.

In the end, I think I do not have much choice about church at least – there are so few of us on the RE committee, I kind of HAVE to take the lead at some point or force the others to do all the work all the time.

*sigh*

What do you think? Am I being selfish and it’s time to grow up? Or is it OK to speak up about what I cannot handle right now, but be more than willing to help in any other capacity? Do you have any experiences which have forced you into an uncomfortable position? How did you feel? How did you handle it?

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3 responses

30 10 2008
Sonja

Eh. I think it’s totally fine to say no to something you don’t feel up to. I’ve been asked a number of times to do volunteer tutoring (because I’m a teacher) but I just never felt like doing that (honestly – spending all day teaching at school, and then spending my free time teaching some more? NO THANK YOU!).
Feeling uncomfortable with what you’re asked to do is even more reason to say no.
Volunteer to do something you’re passionate about, not something you feel like you should do.
So. Any other problems I can solve for you? I’m on a roll! 🙂

30 10 2008
marci

i don’t think there’s anything wrong with stating what you’re comfortable with.

what if you ask to co-teach stuff? so that way there are two of you at a time together. sometimes it’s easier to do something that’s not in your comfort zone if you can do it with someone else.

1 11 2008
Corey

In my mind I am thinking practice makes perfect. The more you do it the easier it gets. In my reality the more I do it the more nervous I get, visibly shaking and sweating even. Public speaking makes me dizzy and want to hurl.

If you feel like it’s something you can overcome then volunteer to lead more often. If not, then don’t. Screw the guilt. You can make up for it by doing so many other helpful things.

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