Fish oil, fish oil. Eat it up, yum.

18 07 2008

I have heard of the benefits of cod liver oil before and had even tried it before, but I made the mistake of trying the liquid stuff. The flavor itself is fine since the manufacturers mask anything fishy, but the texture is really hard to swallow. Pun intended. M recently tried a kid’s one we got in a sample pack in a Vitacost.com order, and, after biting in, announced, “UGH. It tastes like butter!” Indeed.

But after four years (or my whole adult life?) of struggling with depression and feelings of disorganization, laziness, inadequacy, and just generally being overwhelmed, I bought a bottle of (mercury-free) capsules and took them religiously for a month. And I really did begin to feel better. I let myself run out to see if I noticed a difference. And I did. All the old frustrations came back. I felt heavier. It was hard to make myself do the simple daily things I knew I should be able to do.

So I re-ordered the stuff, this time two bottles. And this time, I doubled the dose. And sure enough. I feel GREAT. Not just good, but GREAT. I feel – for once in my life – normal! And that makes me feel high.

On top of all that, I finally (somehow) got the husband to really purge his stuff and in the process I also purged my closet and the household closets. He took all that stuff to the swap meet and only came home with what could fit inside his closet (this was part of the requirements). Now my closets are all organized and I have room in my closet for stuff that has no other home (like the ginormous stack of construction paper I bought – pictures to come). So I feel happy upon happy.

But two nights ago, all that depression began to come back. I started to feel dread settle in the pit of my stomach. It was just like all those other times I felt good – fleeting.

When I woke up yesterday morning I made a list of all the things that had happened in the previous 24 hours:

~We were supposed to go to a field trip, but most people were dropping out and I felt disappointed about that. (They all ended up showing up, by the way.)
~I started a loaf of bread in the breadmaker with almost the last of my fancy flour, but it f-ed up. I can’t COOK the sprouted flours in there, but it usually makes delicious dough for me to bake in the oven. I think the humidity did it in. So I’m almost out of spelt flour and it’s not cheap and I wasted three cups of it.
~E has been having hives for almost a week now and I have no idea why. He won’t take benedryl or anything else. It’s taking him two hours each night to fall asleep because he’s so miserable itching all over. And they always strike just at bedtime.
~Oh and he also twisted his arm real good last night simply climbing into his car seat. At the bizarre angle I saw him stuck at, I was sure he’d dislocated the shoulder, but he’s totally fine.
~The internet is not working properly on my laptop and I have not been able to do any work in two days. And there is an ungodly amount to be done. I think it needs a new wireless card maybe? Mind you, I only bought the thing in November.
~The Husband is on my back about making the web designer add all the tags for me and change all the links, but I’m not sure its her responsibility anyway.
~On top of all that I was exhausted running tons of errands, worried about contracting fleas from the neighbor, and too busy to get any housework done (let alone put away the groceries).

Looking at that list relieved me like you would not believe. It was just situational depression. Well-earned, I think. Once I solved what problems I could, and let my worries about the rest go, I feel back to normal again.

I’m still a little wary of losing this beautiful sanity, but I am feeling more secure each day that I may have found myself for the first time. God bless fish oil!

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4 responses

18 07 2008
Katie

Sorry about all the problems but sometimes life really IS too much for awhile, not just your brain interpreting regular life as too much. Or something. Also, maybe he would take the Benadryl fast melts?

18 07 2008
ZebraBelly

I thought about that, Katie, but it’s for kids six and over and I am not sure I could dose him accurately with those.

Did you get my e-mail, BTW? MISS YOU!!!

19 07 2008
Sonja

1. Fish Oil – whoohoo! I started taking it for baby’s brain development and am going to keep going with it. Have you taken flaxseed oil before? It’s also an essential omega thingy… Or you can put actual flax seed meal on your cereal or in the bread you make (or anything else you bake, for that matter).
2. Hives – I’ve never trusted Benadryl. Really, who makes an ALLERGY medication bright pink with a ton of chemicals? SO COUNTERINTUITIVE! (Now, I’ve taken it regularly… but only because I felt I had no other choice). I’ve found that the less allergy pills I take, the better my body deals with the reactions by itself.
That said – have you washed his bedding? Covered the mattress with an extra sheet or a mattress cover? Is it cool enough in the bedroom? Are you using a non-evil moisturizer for him? Have you considered giving him something homeopathic for allergies? Do you want to punch me yet for knowing everything? 🙂

19 07 2008
ZebraBelly

No way, Sonja! I very much appreciate your thoughts. Unfortunately I’d already been through all those thoughts and they don’t seem to be the issue. I was all ready to go buy him some herbs which act as an antihistime, but – knock wood! – they seem to be subsiding greatly. He had one teeny one (that I know of) today and has been otherwise clear.

What are you allergies? I’ve heard that for pollen-type allergies local honey taken daily works very well. I don’t have those sorts of allergies so I can’t add my own personal experience, but I think the idea is just so stinkin’ neat.

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