Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

7 06 2008
Very mild spoilers within. Read at your own risk!

Since our day at Legoland was cancelled due to a certain little girl’s twisted ankle, the husband and I ran away to a movie. I was so stinkin’ excited. We’ve been rewatching all the old ones during which I confirmed that the chick in the first one is the only good chick, the second movie sucks balls, and the last movie is the best of all (aside from a lack of Marian).

Sucks balls? What an understatement. This movie brings up more questions than it answers – why did they have to add a kid? What happened to him? (Since this movie takes place only one year before the first movie, something happened to eliminate him from Indy’s life in the next few months.) WTF with the chick? OMG IS SHE ANNOYING AS HELL OR WHAT? And why – WHY – does Indy want to sex her up? because she owns a vagina? Because, you know, I have one, too, and I promise not to whine about my broken nails after surviving a place crash into India. And Indy isn’t himself in this movie, either. He’s no sweet teacher out for teh good of archeology – he’s a shrewd collector out for his own glory. I have decided it’s not an Indiana Jones movie at all. It was a mistake. And I haven’t even mentioned monkey brains yet.

The only thing good that came out of the movie (well aside from gratuitous sexy arm scenes) was this hella funny animation I found online. I actually saw it before rewatching the movie and it made me burst into giggles when I saw the scene in the movie.

So we saw the new one today and – oh it is just as good as the second one is bad. Well, aside from the first bit. I could have done without the CGI prarie dogs and the flying refridgerators (or “frigables” as my cute son calls them). I was seriously worried about where the movie was going. But my fears were laid aside quickly and the rest of the movie went on to be AWESOME. It would have been possibly the best one had they found a place for Sean Connery in it. Instead it will merely have to tie for best with Last Crusade.

I could go on (and on and on and on) but I will sum it all up by saying that even if Indiana Jones is 80, I still wanna have his little Henry Jones Jr. babies. It’s OK to name them all the same because when they are old enough they will choose their own dog-related nickname anyway.

George Lucas, you rock my world.




One response

9 06 2008


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