Mother’s Day

7 09 2007

I learned something about myself recently: I am a good mom.

I must have some terrible self esteem because I am forever discovering things like this about myself. People have told me before that I am a good mom, but I was unable to hear or believe them.

Until now.

See, sometimes my brain goes fuzzy or cloudy and it makes me extremely tired and unable to do much more than sit and stare – even talking is difficult. Therefore parenting effectively is next to impossible. The thing is that until about a week ago, I could not separate the two inside my mind. I considered myself lazy and inadequate based on those times my brain stopped working – it colored all of my parenting rather than speaking for itself only.

Through a long and convoluted conversation with some amazing friends (and lucky for me, I was fuzzy at the time, or I may not have made the correlation) I was able to see clearly the difference between who I am as a mother and what sometimes happens to me which makes it temporarily difficult to do my job well. And that’s all it is. Just a thing that sometimes happens. Overall: I am a good mother.

It’s been so unbelievably freeing to discover this. To know that when it happens I can tell my kids I’ll be back to normal in a bit. 95% of my worries about my kids are gone. I’m not gonna screw them up, after all (ask me again when I have teenagers). They’re OK and I’m OK.

Life. Is good.

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4 responses

7 09 2007
*Jess*

I concur… you are an excellent mommy!

8 09 2007
Amesie

OK, you JUST realized this? Silly Bons! I think you are a wicked good mom.

11 09 2007
Alana

See,I used to think having tourettes was going to make parenting difficult. I never was and never will be a “normal” mom and I thought it made me lesser because of it. Turns out my kids are all the better for it and love me tics, stares, arm flinging, spasms, barking, totally non-functioning hours or even days at a time. 2 are teens and still I have yet to screw them up. I think. And to them I’m not a freak, just mom.

11 09 2007
Jen

You ARE a good mom!! Kids are resilient and know nothing but you! They love you unconditionally for everything that you are. I think most good Moms doubt and think they’re messing their kids heads. But I’ve seen you, and you’re so good with them! (hugs)

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