Yesterday school started in my neighborhood and it felt very strange not to send my daughter to her first day of kindergarten. Which is weird, because you’d think that for a homeschooler it would feel normal. But I am me and me is usually weird.
I felt a mixture of freedom and disappointment. It feels a little like a milestone I’m getting cheated out of – taking my child to her very first day of school. I don’t get to have those first day of school photos or taking her into a classroom. I don’t get to cry or worry about her like I’m supposed to on that first big step. On the other hand I feel rebellious and free and absolutely thrilled. And of course I would not change a thing (or, you know, I would), but I am allowing myself to mourn the small loss of this great parenting moment because I relish tradition.
And, you know, it will come someday even if she’s 18 and her first day of school is at University. And I will take photos and cry when I walk her to class. And she will probably kick my ass and never speak to me again, but dammit, I will have my moment.
We still do the first day of school photos, somewhere that is nearly empty because all the other kids are in school is fun 🙂
[…] to School, Ver. 2.0 3 09 2008 This time last year, I was lamenting the fact that I did not have that classic American moment where I send my little one off to her very first day of Kindergarten. And now? I cannot even […]