Nighttime Momming

13 07 2007

I am trying to use up ingredients before they fumigate so now I have a counter full of cookies and peach cobbler. Anyone want to come save me from them? Please?

But what I really came here to say is that I miss my daughter.

Once upon a time I had one child. And I could balance my life around her. I had no other responsibilities and so my schedule was based upon hers and everything I did was with her in mind. And now? I am so over that. Spreading myself between the two children is not so easy, and I find myself altering their days rather than mine so that I can have that precious taste of alone time and thus keep my sense of self.

Hrm. I seem to be digressing. Back on topic.

My daughter is sick. Nothing terrible, just a head cold, but it makes her miserable, particularly when she tries to sleep at night. What gets me is that I’m currently trapped between two children who need me. Well, the real truth of it is that my daughter doesn’t need me anymore – dad works just as well now. And I miss her. I wished last night that I could scoop her into my arms and sleep with her in the rocker like I used to two and more years ago. But then the boy child would wake and cry for me because he still nurses to sleep a couple times a night. And so I am torn.

And, of course it’s fine and it’s good, even, that dad can help her. But I miss those days when I was her comfort person.

In our house it’s mom who has sole responsibility for nighttime parenting of the littles. And most of the time it’s fine with me. But there are times I wonder if we’ve made a huge mistake, like when I can’t go curl around my sickie little girl on occasion. (Or, when I am big time jealous of all y’all going off to Blogher!)

In the end, I guess, it’s such a short time in the life of a person to spend 100% of myself on them at night, and in a few months (God willing!) I will nightwean the baby and be free to comfort whoever needs me all night long. And, of course, they will both need me that night. Because that’s how Murphy works his law.

Hrm. Disjointed much?

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4 responses

13 07 2007
Elaine

I didn’t hear a word you said after “peach cobbler”. I’ll be over after dinner. 😉

13 07 2007
enviromama

(((Hugs))) It is hard trying to balance the needs of 2 little people, isn’t it? I miss Solana like that sometimes too.

13 07 2007
Anonymous

COOKIES??!??!??

13 07 2007
Vickii

ooops…COOOKIES???!?!??!?

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