humor in this entry is optional

28 06 2007

House hunting aside, I have a long-standing hobby of visiting model homes. In fact, when I was in college, there was one I liked so much, I visited it frequently, sitting in it to watch a storm roll in on one occasion.

OK, say it again: Zebra, you are a freak.

I know. And I’m totally OK with that.

Anyhow, on occasion, a house will have things inside it labeled as “optional” or “included!” (they are always very excited when they include things). Usually the optional things are security systems, or built-in bookshelves, and the included! things are fancy closets or stand-alone showers.

Well, today while driving looking for a listing I might actually be able to afford (so, basically, nonexistant), we happened upon a tiny little planned community right smack in the middle of the ghetto. Just north, in fact, of a sleazy bar called, “Plum Loco Saloon” (read the review, it’s fantastic). Funny, but these homes were not selling for less than $400,000. Maybe the potential owners won’t notice the neighborhood?

OK, but the point is that these homes have these little stickers all over the house informing prospective buyers of what in each home is optional or included! Only this house? the stickers were on crazy stuff. For instance, kitchen counters are included! while the banister is merely optional. Here I began to picture a kitchen without counters, cutting my onions on the floor for instance. Or the stairs without the banister – luckily they had placed a couch next to the stairs, so really, I guess you could forgo the optional banisters and just walk down onto the couch?

I have to wonder – are they serious? Or was some prankster just having a little fun?

Also, I will add here that this is another instance of me needing a camera phone. You know, so you could get the full effect. Also so I could remember what the rest were.

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4 responses

28 06 2007
chanale

Maybe they figure someone living next to a sleazy saloon will be too drunk to walk up the stairs or cut onions? 🙂

28 06 2007
Elaine

My husband, who is crazy logical, just informed me that he’s certain a banister came with the house. Just not the upgraded banister they may have been showing. And the counter tops were likely something spiffy, like granite instead of the usual tile.

But your version is way more interesting and amusing.

Unlike my husband.

28 06 2007
ZebraBelly:

Yeah, I was going for amusement rather than, you know, fact.

Still, the kitchen counters were just tile so far as I could tell. Maybe it was tile carved (yes carved, shoosh!) from magical stone found only in Atlantis. Too much?

29 06 2007
Amesie

Were the stairs included, though?

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