Friends like Friends (and tongues)

25 02 2007

Have you ever met a person and immediately (or shortly thereafter) knew they were meant to be a part of your life?

In high school, my friend met her future partner and (now) close friend and knew he was “good” because he didn’t flinch at all when Maggie commented that canned pear halves looked like cold dead tongues. He just said, “Yeah, they do.” And she’s not wrong, you know. But they taste better. I imagine.

I was thinking of this last week when she invited me to a book club with her grown-up set of friends and told me I’d like them. I wondered if they’d pass the dead tongue test. It’s hard to tell since I only met them this once, but we had a lot of laughs about Baby Sitter’s Club books (this was not the book we read, by the way). Although, a word to the wise: it just makes you look weird if you announce to a group of strangers that you used to “wear tape” in junior high school. So, yeah. Don’t say that. Especially not when there is one of those big scary silences that happens at a party when you say something really inappropriate really loudly.

But I digress.

This also caused me to think of when I met Sandy. Not the first time when we were in 7th grade gym class together. But the time I really got to know her when she was hired at my company while I was away on my honeymoon. We met and talked a bit about people we each knew, discovered we lived about a block from each other, and decided to carpool. It was during this first week, on a ride home, when my tongue came up in conversation. This might seem unusual, but it’s really not, when you consider my tongue. It’s full of cracks and most people think it’s gross (I don’t) so I often hear, “What’s wrong with your tongue?!” I told her it’s geographical which may or may not be true, but it’s what I believed at the time. She looked me straight in the eye (because I live like I’m in a movie where I don’t actually have to look at the road while I drive – it’s magic!) and said, deadly serious, “You have a elf in your mouth.” She went on to explain to me that when I was in utero there was (obviously) an elf trapped in there with me and he made a map on my tongue (obviously) because he was trying to find his way out.

And I knew we were meant to be friends.

Because very few people in the world would understand such nonsense. In fact, when Sandy showed up (with pie!) at my older child’s birth and I pointed at my lovely midwife and shouted, “Sandy! She has an elf in her mouth, too!” I think Vickii was counting the minutes to when she could escape the House of Weirdoes. And who can blame her? I mean, I did used to wear tape. That’s not normal.

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5 responses

25 02 2007
Vickii

Well, crap, Sandy gets lotsa love, and what do I get? I mean, really, we have the same tongue and all. You do realize how special we are, don’t you? Since I get to see soooo many tongues in acupuncture, I would know.

And hey…I don’t think I even got any of that pie!

25 02 2007
zebrabelly

Oh, V, you are totally special to me!

BTW it’s cheap pie month. What say we buy one or seven?

25 02 2007
zebrabelly

It just occurred to me that I have NO idea how I know we have twin tongues.

HEY it’s just like when Joey on Friends found his hand twin!!

26 02 2007
doow

With regard to your movie driving, are you and your elf tongue also freakishly well-lit by the dashboard when driving at night?

27 02 2007
zebrabelly

YES! I also only drive around the same block over and over if you watch closely and sometimes I have car chases for fun!

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