UPDATE! Again!

31 12 2006

This book continues to perplex me. First was the Mystery of the Narwhal, then came the Mystery of How Best to Kill the Readers With Bordom (which is a long and awkward title, someone should really talk to the author about that. Ahem). And I will tell you now that I have solved this second mystery, too.

Fish.

The answer is that Jules Verne will bore us to death with fish. Pages upon pages of details about fish. Every time they come to a new place on the globe, the narrator, Professor Arronax (which, by the way, is a kickass name! Thumbs up to you, Mr. Verne! I give “Arronax” an A+!), will literally go on for pages about the tyupes of fish he sees. And when he runs out of fuel, he turns to the note of his “servant” and goes on for another couple pages. Seriously, I now understand why they sell abridged copies of this book. I read it rather like the grandfather read S. Morgenstern’s The Princess Bride, skipping whole chapters at a time, while losing nothing of the actual story.

Anyway, a few interesting things have happened, but – I SWEAR – they take up less space in this book than the damn fish. (No offense, my marine friends!)

But the thing that disturbs me today? Bestiality. Yes. You see – and I think I can say this without giving away too much plot – they come upon a group of seals. And the seals? Are described as having voluptuous eyes. Yes. Methinks these sailors are a tad lonely, yeah? Maybe the word had a different meaning 140 years ago, but I would not describe seals as “sensuously pleasing or delightful” and I certainly would not describe eyes as such. I mean… HUH? I’m so totally lost there.

So that’s where I’m at so far. No mention whatsoever of a giant squid. I think they are all lying. But Captain Nemo? He’s a nice fellow. Very accomodating. You should visit him.

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