Demon Adventures. Also personal growth n stuff.

26 04 2012

I have so much to say. But only while I’m driving or in the shower or something. I need to make a habit of audio recording myself all the time and just posting that. Only it would be SO CONFUSING for you to try to follow my brain while I talk to myself. It’s harder than following my brain while I talk to you. Which is pretty hard to begin with.

Suffice it to say that this has been a time of incredible change and growth for me. I’ve learned things about myself, and let things go to regrow more organically. I’ve learned things about life, about friendships, about parenting and my children. I wish I could document all of it, but it happens so fast, and so naturally, that I can barely make verbal note of it before I’m onto the next step. I guess I’ll have to just let that be what it is, too.

This week has been a surreal week of new things for SOAM, too. It got picked up first by the Daily Mail in the UK, and then by Yahoo (wherein a woman WHO WAS *IN* OFFICE SPACE said my website was “meh”. Which. Actually. Might not be a compliment. But it doesn’t really matter because SHE WAS TOTALLY IN OFFICE SPACE and also TALKING ABOUT *MY* WEBSITE) and a few other sources. And the traffic crashed the site. Repeatedly. Like to the point where I had to find a new company to host it for me. And that, my friends? Was beyond stressful. Tech is not my language and to try to fix something so INCREDIBLY TECHY was downright traumatic. In case you’re here for advice, the coping technique I used follows:

1. Cuss a lot.
2. Deep breath.
3. Remind self to take it one step at a time, and do whatever the smrt people say.
4. Panic.
5. Repeat.

It might need work, but it got me through.

And you know what happened this week? My first baby turned ten. TEN. Oh, you know what? It’s kind of like this. Only with less pot and no professional killing. Take out those things and it’s EXACTLY like that.

she's weird, too, though

She’s amazing lately, too. This time of change isn’t just about me (unlike most other things in this world, which totally are just about me). She’s made some incredible growth that gets me all verklempt just thinking about it.

So here’s to spring and growth and life and The Happy. And to not taking a ride on this bus.

um. i don't think i fancy a ride on THAT bus.

Or, TO taking a ride on that bus, if that’s your thing. If the demons are hot I guess it might be mine.





this is why i am tired

13 05 2011

Last week:
Tuesday, 5:30PM~ Someone FROM THE FREAKING TODAY SHOW called me and asked me to FLY TO NEW YORK the following Thursday TO BE ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. LIVE. ZOMGWTFPOLARBEAR!!1!!! *dies and is ded*
Tuesday, 8:30PM~ (These Today Show people keep crazy hours) I get an email asking if I can come sooner so I can film a spot in addition to the live show.
Wednesday, some point in the day which I have now forgotten~ I’m told I won’t be flying there after all, rather they’ll BE COMING TO MY HOUSE TO FILM ME HERE AND PUT MY LIVING ROOM ON NATIONAL TV. OMGWTF! *faints* (Slightly lesser response there, see?)
Wednesday, all day~ I run around scrubbing the house and kids, spending my last $20 on a haircut, driving the kids to their various appointments normal to Wednesdays, hunting down moms who want to participate in the story and who meet the requirements of the Today Show staff, finishing up some loose ends requested by the Today Show, talking to my web host about making sure the servers can handle all the traffic, and generally stressing out a little bit.
Thursday, two hours before news crews arrive~ I get a call saying no one is coming. *sigh* *dies. and is ded* The foreign news was too much that week to have room for a story on mama-bellies. Which made sense. I had wondered why they’d picked the week Osama Bin Laden was killed to invite me to New York. But it was also Mother’s Day so I thought that might have something to do with it.
Friday~ Recover.
Saturday~ Clean off the entire patio.
Sunday~ Be in pain from Saturday. Also celebrate Mother’s Day.
Monday~ Attempt to get back to regularly scheduled programming.  Fail. Look over the paperwork that needs to be done this month and turned into the county office. I haven’t mentioned this here yet, but we’re on food stamps. SPOILER ALERT! I’ve been meaning to blog about it but just haven’t found the time. Refer back to this entry for an example of why. Anyway. Discover the paperwork was actually due last week while I was not in New York. Do the math and realize I had exactly two days to get it completed and mailed and received since it arrived over a week after it was dated. The government is full of lying liars who lie. Call the office to see what can be done. Don’t get through. Spend ALL DAY LONG trying to get through. Feel foggy. Feel bitchy. Not all of this is from having to deal with the government. Part of it is a major case of PMS.
Tuesday~ SPEND ALL DAY LONG TRYING TO GET THROUGH. Feel even more PMSy.
Wednesday~ FINALLY GET THROUGH!! And remain on hold for one hour and forty minutes. No shit. ONE HOUR AND FORTY MINUTES. Finally give up because Elliott needs to be at an appointment. Feel menstrual. Very, very menstrual. ETA: Oh shit I forgot the bit about how my bank called me at 8am to ask me if I’d spent $6,000 that morning on clothes and how, no, they didn’t think so but wanted to double check and how they’d cancel my debit card and how I’ll get a new one sometime before the world ends. *sigh*  And so now I am partying like it’s 1999 and writing checks for everything. Yes.  I am that person in line.  Blame the criminals.
Thursday~ Call again, speak to an operator, explain my case, get put on hold FOR FORTY MINUTES MORE. Get hung up on. Menstruate more. (Sorry, male readers.)
Friday~ OH GLORY BE. Friday the 13th is here to make up for my Week o’ Thursdays. I not only get through and don’t even get put on hold, but I get my problem solved (turns out I actually had until Thursday and would have known that HAD I BEEN ABLE TO GET THROUGH) and spend exactly zero minutes in the office waiting for the paperwork I was told I’d have to wait for. WIN. Celebrate with Frappy Hour and some Doctor.

And the future holds? Well, more of this, but slightly less… manic. Unless the Today Show calls me back like they promised. In the mean time, and for the foreseeable future, we are blaming all our problems on Matt Lauer.

(Dear Today Show and/or Matt Lauer, totally j/k. lolz)





When I Grow Up, I’m Going to be a Writer. Apparently.

20 10 2010

Of all the careers I ever considered, writing wasn’t one of them. Not that I don’t enjoy it – I do. I think it was simply off my radar as something that a normal person could succeed at. I was taught, essentially, that office jobs are the ones which support you, but anything artistic isn’t possible to make an actual living at. This basic philosophy is, I think, a major part of what’s wrong with society. Or at least a symptom of what’s wrong with it.

Of all the careers I ever considered, activism wasn’t one of them. Nor was feminism. In fact, I did not even consider myself a feminist for most of my life – I wasn’t able to see all that is so unbalanced between the sexes. This is not to say that I was against feminism and thought women should submit to men, I was all for equality. I still am. But the week that I made SOAM public was the week I first began to see how very far women had to go. SOAM literally exploded within days. Exploded. I received tons of e-mails and messages thanking me; women told me how much they needed this, how much hurt was lifted from knowing they weren’t alone. That week changed me in many, many ways. That week I took on the label of Feminist.

And now here I am. I didn’t choose this career so much as it chose me. But it’s not the sort of thing you say no to. Especially when you still get e-mails and messages of thanks on a regular basis.

Most of you probably know this, but I don’t think I have formally announced this here – BlogHer came to me this summer asking if I would join them in a year-long project called Own Your Beauty. Will I? Of course I will! And today my first post is up. Go read it, share your thoughts with me, and then share the link to Own Your Beauty with all the women (and men?) in your life.








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