July Tweets

3 08 2012

I’ve now found FIVE spiders and/or silverfish in my sink and/or bathtub in the last three days. WTF, UNIVERSE?
Jul 1

Does it still count as procrastination if you’re doing other work to procrastinate the work you’re procrastinating?
Jul 1

Just for a second there, the Arthur Dent in my head had David Tennant’s voice. That I was not expecting. My imagination is very confused.
Jul 1

I can already tell that the Golgafrinchans from Restaurant at the End of the Universe will be played by the cast of Battlestar Galactica.
Jul 1

You know what’s worse than the shower scene in Psycho? That, but with a fat black spider threatening to climb in with you. Hobo bath it is.
Jul 4

San Diego has decided to celebrate Independence Day with winter. (Better than scary aliens, IMO.)
Jul 4

My kids just discovered where their tears come from. Their tear holes. #technicalterm #science
Jul 6

Was dreaming about checking out vinyl from the library. Just like back in the dark ages. *wistful sigh*
Jul 7

Waking up. Step 1: Lay in bed checking interwebz on phone. Step 2: See step 1.
Jul 7

Some guy just left me a voicemail offering to bring me cardboard, telling me his foot was swollen, and hoping I had a good time.
Jul 7

Clearly he was Oedipus. I mean. Except for the cardboard.
Jul 7

I just discovered ume plum vinegar. It tastes EXACTLY like saladitos. MY LIFE IS CHANGED.
Jul 7

Eyeballs are weird.
Jul 7

I’m having a kind of hard day today and this emo version of Mad World is not helping. #NeedMuppets
Jul 7

I forgot to put that plum vinegar on my bachelor dinner so now I have to have second dinner.
Jul 7

My Best Friend’s Wedding: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HER CELL PHONE.
Jul 8

My Best Friend’s Wedding: OMG BRENDA CHENOWITH IS ONE OF THE BRIDESMAIDS.
Jul 8

My Best Friend’s Wedding: OMG HOW DOES SHE EVEN HAVE A BEST FRIEND WITH ALL THE CRAZY HORRIBLE SHIT SHE DOES.
Jul 8

My Best Friend’s Wedding: I love the ending to this movie. Best romantic comedy ever. (What does that say about me?) (Don’t answer that.)
Jul 8

I hope you love it when I tweet in all caps after having discovered someone famous is in something I haven’t seen in years. Because…
Jul 9

OMG STEVE BUSCEMI IS TOTALLY IN PETE AND PETE.
Jul 9

Chicken nuggets and fruit leather for dinner tonight. My bachelorette dinner has been demoted past bachelor all the way to toddler dinner.
Jul 9

“But if you don’t unpack all your stuff will smell like box!” <–Fanny's after my heart. #bunheads
Jul 9

Not that I unpack right away. Cause I don't. Instead I walk around smelling like box. But the point stands.
Jul 9

Ohhh so Paradise is supposed to be SoCal? Why does it look so NorCal?? #bunheads
Jul 9

Margie: I want to reread Harry Potter, but I don't want to just read it; I want to BE at Hogwarts. <–We know, babe. We know.
Jul 10

Elliott: I don't want my name to be Elliott when I grow up. I'm going to change my name to David Tennant.
Jul 10

So Kung Fu Panda 2 is about an evil peacock? Awesome.
Jul 11

At the library watching an animal show. Just discovered that PORCUPINES ARE THE CUTEST ANIMALS EVER. EVER.
Jul 11

Nope. Baby gators are the cutest. GAH.
Jul 11

K. I'm gonna stop with the baby gator cause now they brought out an opossum. #90%teeth
Jul 11

The opossum is growing on me. She is really cute. For an opossum.
Jul 11

I may or may not be reading my tweets out loud to myself trying to figure out what my "all-caps voice" sounds like.
Jul 11

OMG WON'T SOMEONE MAKE A LOG LADY/LOG FROM BLAMMO MASHUP TSHIRT?? *hint, hint, universe*
Jul 12

(Margie would like it noted that she was highly influential in the formation of the idea from my previous tweet.)
Jul 12

Watching local news coverage of #SDCC and I TOTALLY FOUND WALDO.
Jul 13

My insurance company just mailed me a check for $1.25. So, who wants to go party?
Jul 13

IS GOING TO COMIC CON!
Jul 14

Watching shows from the 90's makes all the jeans look like mom jeans.
Jul 14

I may or may not be slightly in love with Rupert Giles. #Buffy
Jul 14

We're either in line for the Doctor Who panel or we're wasting 3 hours of our lives. I'll let you know which later.
Jul 15

HOLY CRAP I AM IN THE SAME ROOM AS THE DOCTOR!
Jul 15

Home. Now I'm waiting for my servants to cook the dinner, put everything away, and massage my legs. Where are those servants, anyway?
Jul 15

I don't know if 9pm counts as bedtime, but it is. Bedtime, I mean.
Jul 15

The problem with bedtimes before 10:30 is that I inevitably take an un-nap around 2am. Every time.
Jul 16

I'm stabby and cry-y and there's no one here to make me food and I forgot kale when I went to the grocery store. #crybaby #sick
Jul 16

Robin Sherbatsky's dad just regenerated from Victor Newman to Leland Palmer? The fuck?
Jul 16

Salted in-shell sunflower seeds. For when you need to stay dehydrated. (I regret nothing.)
Jul 17

If I hear a noise and it's not followed by screaming, can I assume it's a firecracker and not a gunshot?
Jul 18

And if I hear another noise and it's followed by a fireworky crackle, I can assume my first assumption was right, right?
Jul 18

Because I am TOTALY NOT PANICKING or anything.
Jul 18

There is a housefly buzzing around my head while I'm trying to fall asleep and I find this irrationally terrifying. Save me?
Jul 18

Margie gave me the rest of her in-shell sunflower seeds. It was such a sweet gift. Also, she's an enabler.
Jul 20

It's not fair playing Doctor Who Scene It with my kids – they always take the best playing pieces. At least I always win.
Jul 20

Watching a documentary on King Arthur. Turns out love was considered an illness in the middle ages. Treated with sex. Makes sense.
Jul 20

I'm hearing what sounds like an army of angry ducks somewhere in the neighborhood. #neverleavingthehouseagain
Jul 21

You know how sometimes you think, "Oh pasta won't take that long to cook" but then 20 minutes before dinnertime you realize chicken does?
Jul 23

Tonights litter-box-changing lesson was interrupted by a how-to-use-the-litter-box demonstration. Thanks, cat.
Jul 23

Also, he seemed really offended that we'd dare remove his poos and pees. YOU'RE WELCOME, CAT.
Jul 23

Sometimes? TYPING IN ALL CAPS MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING MORE OUT OF MY 140 CHARACTERS SINCE THE LETTERS ARE BIGGER.
Jul 24

I love watching Lost because I know I'd make better decisions than most of the characters. It's so relaxing to always be right.
Jul 24

And how come no one ever sings that other Drive Shaft song that never got released? (Charlie totally just brought me to tears.)
Jul 24

(Truth be told, Charlie almost always brings me to tears.)
Jul 24

Do you have any idea how hard it is to wake up and check the Interwebz on my phone when there is a cat who hasn't been pet in SEVEN HOURS?
Jul 25

There was an earthquake in LA today. The first I heard of it was on Twitter from @simonpegg who is in London. Must be 2012.
Jul 25

Violent Femmes: "How long can the days go on?" Elliott: "24 hours. How does he not know that?"
Jul 25

I love pinning stuff to my TIAW board. It makes me feel like all my time on Pinterest is justified.
Jul 27

Honestly? I should be the commenter for the Opening Ceremonies. I am way better than these NBC people.
Jul 27

Why yes I did just fall down an Internet rabbit hole and wind up reading the complete history of the eleven Inspectors. #InspectorSpacetime
Jul 29

Got the cat microchipped today. Now I sort of never want to pet him again. #thingsundertheskinarecreepy
Jul 30

Just a quick trip to Ikea. Said no one ever.
Jul 31

Well, the nice thing about breaking your mandoline slicer is that at least you don't have to wash it. #optimism #orsomething #thursday
Jul 31

I just rolled over my own toe. This is the part of today where I curl up in bed and just give up.
Jul 31


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