I like terrible stuff.

19 12 2011

This prompt is from two days ago, only I don’t have a time machine to post it on the right day. My weekend was a little bit intensely busy.

Instead of a list of your favorite things, write a list of your least favorite things, e.g. Worst book you ever finished, the color you hate, bad songs, bad romances, bad recipes.Amy

I hate a lot of stuff for sure. Bad drivers, stupid people, Thursdays – the usual. But what makes me unique or cute or dumb or something is that I tend to LOVE really TERRIBLE shit.

Like, one of the best movies ever is The Day After Tomorrow. I originally was interested in seeing this movie because the previews focused on a scene in which a veritable army of tornadoes descends upon Los Angeles. And you just can’t pass up a scene like that. Sadly, that bit was a little disappointing, but the movie held SO MANY other incredible ideas that it found a dark corner in which to fester in my heart. Like when the city of New York freezes spontaneously. Or when Jake Gyllenhaal outruns the Super Storm Of Death. And wolves. Or when he swims through ice cold water to use a pay phone (remember those? haha) during a power outage. Or when they save themselves with a tiny (relative to the Super Storm of Death) fire in a fireplace which they probably forgot has a chimney that’s attached to the outside and therefore the Super Storm of Death, but the tiny fire totally wins against the Super Storm of Death. It’s like a giant game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Fireplace, Super Storm of Death. Only more terrible.

And then a few years later they released a movie called 2012 and the key selling point for me was that it was, “From the people who brought you The Day After Tomorrow.” I was sold on that one line. And the bit about John Cusack was just like the cherry on top of Jake Gyllenhaal. Um. Or something. And this movie was just as awesome. In that it was actually pretty much the same exact movie. Except better because this one has giraffes that moo. It’s like win-win-win.

I won’t even get started on Twilight. Except that: vampire baseball, sparkles, werewolves who aren’t werewolves, half-vampire babies named Renesmee, and the overuse of the word “perfect”. It is, as my friend Claire says, exactly like smoking pot. Only I’ll have to take her word for it.

So while I love these things ironically, the idea of loving them seriously frightens me. Especially Twilight which I find has a lot of deeply disturbing messages in it for this next generation of girls who are reading it. And especially especially for people who think a measly fire will save them from a Super Storm of Death.


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6 responses

19 12 2011
Sonja

The idea of John Cusack as a cherry on top of Jake Gyllehaal made me guffaw. Thank you.

19 12 2011
ZebraBelly

I aim to serve!

19 12 2011
Sarah

[Redacted comment relating to cherries, Jake Gyllenhaal and the verb ‘to serve’.]

19 12 2011
ZebraBelly

Approved!

21 12 2011
Claire

all comments on this post must relate to the John Cusack as cherry on top of Jake Gyllenhaal. Therefore I will say: hell to the sexy yes.

25 12 2011
7 Days: Day 5 (Happy Place) « Z E B R A B E L L Y . C O M

[…] was slow and honestly boring, but it had its moments. And by “moments” I mean “hilariously terrible moments“. I completely lost control at the styrofoam cup of blood. Styrofoam cup of blood. With a […]

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