Worst. Year. Ever.

10 12 2011

What is the best and/or worst thing about your life right now?Dana

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. <—-Excuse me while I lose what remains of my sanity all over your computer. This year has been, well, a fucking motherfucker. And I'm so glad this prompt is encouraging me to do this because for awhile now I've seriously considered writing a list of all that's happened this year so that I can go back whenever I doubt myself and see that I wasn't being melodramatic at all. This happened.

1. I decided to leave my marriage.
2. Despite it being the best option, there were some dark times for me through the winter.
3. And then he moved out and I spent the next month rearranging the house.
4. I was extremely broke during the spring. One month I made $200.
5. And then I was invited to New York to do a spot for the Today Show for SOAM.
6. So I had to figure out how to plan for and schedule and then have a trip to New York on zero dollars (helped in large part due to the fact that flights and hotels were taken care of, of course).
7. And then they said I wasn't going to New York, but that they'd come to my house instead.
8. So I had to figure out how to have my house suitable for NATIONAL TELEVISION (helped in large part to the fact that my house is kind of awesome in general these days).
9. And then they were all, "haha, just kidding. nvrmnd."
10. *sigh*
11. And then it turned out that, while running all over town on Matt Lauer's newest whim, I'm missed the deadline to turn in my paperwork for food stamps and was in danger of losing them. So I spent FOUR DAYS trying to get through on the phone.
12. Only to find I'd hadn't missed the deadline at all. Well, not until I spent FOUR DAYS not being able to get through to them.
13. But it was OK because I ran directly to the office that day and turned it in and all was good.
14. And somewhere in that month someone stole my debit card number so I had to deal with all that in the midst of Matt Lauer/food stamps drama.
15. June was OK, I think.
16. And then my mom died.
17. And all her neighbors hated me.
18. And her house was horrible.
19. And it hurt so, so much.
20. And so we began cleaning out her house and her storage. And it took three months.
21. And in September all my body parts suddenly went numb.
22. But it turned out to be just stress!
23. Duh.

And there have been so, so many other small issues. Like stupid banks, or stupid housing development employees, or surprisingly not stupid DMV employees, but stupid neighbors who used to be DMV employees.

My mom used to have a magnet on her fridge (which I’m sure I’ve already said here, but that’s totally my style: telling the same stories. get used to it) that said, “You are not stopped by the mountain in your path but by the small rock in your shoe.” Word. My hardest days are often the ones where it’s just tons of little shit chipping away at my resolve. And when you add those things into a year like the one I’ve had, I just feel so tired. And you know what? I AM SO GLAD 2011 IS ALMOST OVER.

And now for some recent Happy to balance things out.

Happy Thing: Baking Cookies With the Kids

Happy Thing: Downpour

Happy Thing: Leaves Crunching

Happy Thing: Sending Nerdy Texts

Happy Thing: An Autumn Afternoon

Happy Thing: A New Skinny, Nerdy Yule Tree

Happy Thing: The Countown (to Yule) Begins!

Happy Thing: My New Baby


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21 responses

10 12 2011
chasingthefirefly

What. A. Year. You’re such a strong, amazing person to endure and come through with the happy in the end. I love your happy.

10 12 2011
Jess banks

Augh. You made it. And remember, there’s a Doctor Who Christmas special at the end of even the worst year.

10 12 2011
ZebraBelly

SO TRUE. Thank god for The Doctor.

10 12 2011
Julia Duhan (@JuliaDuhan)

YOU are strong. YOU are brave. YOU are wonderful. 2012 will be better. I just know it.

10 12 2011
ZebraBelly

2012 is gonna be awesome. :)

10 12 2011
bethany actually

Even though I’ve known you for years, I count 2011 as the year you went from “cool person that I like a lot but don’t really know very well” to “my good friend Bonnie.” I’m sorry for the year of suckitude, but I’m so glad you’re in my life. Love you!

10 12 2011
ZebraBelly

Love you, too. <3

(Also, do you know how to make an actual heart on a Mac?)

10 12 2011
Katrina

Wow! I am so sorry you had to go through all this!! I am glad this year is almost over for you too!! 2012 will be better!!

10 12 2011
Kassie

Well shit. You are a survivor. And I’m sorry it’s been such a difficult awful year. 2012 has has has to be better. And your honesty in this post kinda made me cry. Kinda is all I’ll admit.

10 12 2011
Sonja

One of the few quotes from famous people I can actually remember is this: “Any idiot can face a crisis – it’s day to day living that wears you out.” (Anton Chekhov) I’m guessing he knew what he was talking about.

10 12 2011
10 12 2011
bethany actually

Uh, that should’ve been in reply to how to make a heart.

10 12 2011
ZebraBelly

I was gonna say that’s such a pain to have to C&P, but then I saw all the OTHER COOL STUFF I can use. Thanks!

10 12 2011
ZebraBelly

Thank you everyone! ♥

11 12 2011
Sarah

That is a year of suck, but my God I think you can be so proud of yourself with the way you got through it all. Here’s to 2012 ♥

Also, here’s to “Special Characters” at the bottom of the Edit menu ☺

11 12 2011
bethany actually

Aaahhh! Sarah, that’s WAY better! And there’s even a shortcut, option + command + T! Bonnie, clearly Sarah is the one you should be asking about Mac shortcuts in future. And then tell me what she says.

11 12 2011
ZebraBelly

❤👃 <–Also I can do a nose for some reason. 👍

And I think I just figured out how to "like" things on Flickr or Pinterest. Haha! I win at the internets!

11 12 2011
bethany actually

What?! How?

I can’t see the nose. Jusy a little box that says ‘gif 443.’

11 12 2011
bethany actually

*Just

11 12 2011
ZebraBelly

Oh sad.

12 12 2011
Sarah

No nose for me either. But, copying the little square that is in its place, pasting it into TextEdit and increasing its size, it reveals itself to be a black-rimmed square with rounded corner, with a big 1 in the middle on a stripy background. Around the edge it says “Undefined 1FFFD Plane 1 10000″. It’s like something out of Lost.

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