And so, after clinging desperately to season 4, savoring every episode and digging deep into the Story and Stories within it, I’ve moved on to a new Doctor. As I got nearer to the end, I started thinking I would survive maybe after all. I dreamed about the new Doctor weeks ago, and started getting excited to meet him. There was even a brief moment where I thought I might go see Matt Smith and Karen Gillan record a podcast during Comic Con weekend (at first I worried about SPOILERS! but then Bethany was like, “Timey Wimey!” And I was all, “Wibbly Wobbly, I see what you did there!”) and I was super excited to go and try to sniff him (it was a request from a friend of mine – sniffing celebrities isn’t my usual hobby. Although. Maybe it should be?) but then tickets were sold out so we didn’t make it after all. What was I saying? I got all distracted by sniffing the Doctor and lost my place. Oh, right.
Ten. And then he was gone. And it was epic and terrible and beautiful and his Story was finished perfectly. But he was still gone. And suddenly there’s this new kid there, spitting apples at children (in the most charming way, srsly) and I’m still recovering from it all.
That night I went to bed and had nightmares all night long about those two Doctors and also about my mom, because I’ve had an actual death this month, too. And I’m still not clear if it was innate wisdom or pure stupidity that caused me to traumatize myself with the death of the 10th Doctor while I’m in the middle of grieving. I cried a lot that night. Which is, of course, really important right now. And sometimes hard to find time for. The next day I still felt so surreal and strange and generally super fucked up, although, looking back I recognize that as exhaustion since I’d only slept maybe three hours the night before. And, as it turns out, sleep is quite important. Cause without it you go a little bit crazy. *ahem*
And so, despite a brief moment where I worried, it looks like I might survive even still. Fingers crossed. I’ve not formed a real, full opinion yet on the new Doctor or companion/s or the show itself. Every aspect of the show is new and that’s a lot of adjusting to do. But I’m committed to the Doctor as a character (cause I’ll follow anyone who drives a police box) so I love it all no matter what.
Except maybe the plasticky rainbow Daleks. They took all the steampunk out of them and that sort of renders them about 80% less awesome. *sad sigh* Please bring back the cool Daleks. Kthx.

