Holycrap it’s June! That means it’s time for May Tweets!

8 06 2011

Holy crap. I leave to clean the kitchen and in that short time the internet exploded over Bin Laden’s death.
1 May

Sometimes I just really miss cold pizza.
1 May

Margie’s mad libs this morning ended with a suggestion to drink ewok milk. Just in case you were wondering.
3 May

Also my phone feels strongly that “ewok” should be changed to “swim”. WTF autocorrect?
3 May

I just got an email offering me a free trial of Salma Hayak. FINALLY.
4 May

I think a good rule of thumb is to mop your floors at least as often as TV crews come over.
4 May

In about 30 seconds @ Trader Joe’s, I got shocked, smashed a garlic powder, & ran the cart over my toe. Remind me to stay home on Thursdays.
5 May

There is a small chance I might possibly be addicted to cole slaw. Medium chance. Large.
5 May

Margie to Elliott: You can’t hit me cause I’m in a parallel universe.
5 May

My rake broke. Sweeping the lawn now.
7 May

Yesterday I saw a guy riding a little motorcycle and WEARING A TIRE. Just wanted to share that.
12 May

I don’t know how many times I’ll have to learn that Christian Bale is British before I stop being surprised.
12 May

Margie’s friend, looking for something to do here: “Why don’t we make a robot of Elliott that can replace him?” Margie wasn’t amused. I was.
12 May

Wow. Writing checks in 2011 is even weirder than the CONCEPT of writing checks in 2011. In that you don’t even have to do the writing.
14 May

ALSO when you write a check and then directly after go get gas part of your brain assumes its 1997 and you forget $7 doesnt get you far now.
14 May

Just walked in the grocery store and they are playing “Mmm Bop”. I’m pretty sure 1997 is just fucking with me now.
14 May

The guy in line in front of us is firing someone on his cellphone. At Legoland. #2011issoweird
16 May

You know what’s better than the Today Show? Disneyland. Any day.
18 May

Overheard in line for the new Star Tours: Not only do we have to clamp on with our butts but we also have to keep 3D glasses on?
20 May

Since it’s 2011 I figure it’s time to watch Captain EO.
20 May

I just found the Death Star under the couch. That’s normal, right?
22 May

I didn’t realize until I became a mother but it turns out “I said so” actually is a valid reason.
23 May

It’s hard to explain to the kids that there is a whole world outside of Doctor Who when I’m not sure I believe it myself.
23 May

Also: Mr. Brady was kinda hot. I never noticed when I was a kid. Probably cause I was a kid. #nottalkingaboutdrwhoanymore
23 May

My daughter is peeling my sunburn. We are highly evolved. Srsly.
24 May

Elliott told Margie to hug me but I was informed it “was not a love hug. It was to hold you for jail.”
24 May

ZebraBelly really needs someone to follow me around and make sure I’m always wearing a damn hat so I’ll STOP GETTING SUNBURNS. #i’magrownup #iswear
24 May

Today I learned that the third Doctor’s car was a Ford Prefect (well, ish). *head explodes*
24 May

Margie: I can’t understand why anyone would be goth. It’s SO HOT.
25 May

Last night I watched a documentary on Pompeii and the thing that really struck me was the fact that urine removes grease stains from fabric.
28 May

I have now seen TWO SEPARATE stories in which a Captain Jack kisses a Captain Jack. WEIRD.
28 May

There is a veritable SWARM of baby birds outside my window prattling on and learning to fly. It is DAMN CUTE.
29 May

I remembered today that as a teen I named a rat Marten (as in Doctor). After BOOTS. And that is when I realized I was a total dork.
30 May








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