Green Tweets (Cause, you know… March.)

3 04 2011

It’s not Los Angeles until I get lost eight times.
4 Mar

Srsly, Hilton? It’s 2011. Wireless internet should be free. Fail.
5 Mar

ZebraBelly just saw Charlie Sheen’s star. The symbol indicated that he is, in fact, a bitchin’ rockstar from Mars.
5 Mar

Can someone please explain to me me why my son is TERRIFIED of people dressed as Mickey Mouse, but stormtroopers are totally ok?
6 Mar

And now I shall sleep in a pile of sand. Thanks, Venice Beach.
6 Mar

Margie, upon learning the new floor lamp will be approx her height, narrowed her eyes and declared, “It will be my nemesis.”
11 Mar

Elliott: When I’m dead I don’t listen. Cause dead people don’t talk.
11 Mar

Dear dude who works at Starbucks: it’s not EXpresso.
12 Mar

After being woken up too early and the kids fighting all morning I am pretty sure I know the real reason we’re supposed to beware the Ides.
15 Mar

Overheard at PE: “Those two moths are stuck together.” “I think that means they’re married.”
15 Mar

You know this Cat Stevens song in the JPMorgan commercial is just offensive.
15 Mar

When your daughter sings the Ramones it’s cute. When she SHOUTS “I wanna be sedated!” It’s, well, weird.
16 Mar

Elliott: “Who’s the tooth fairy? @bethanyactually?”
16 Mar

ZebraBelly has been playing so much Mario Kart that real driving is a whole new adventure.
26 Mar

ZebraBelly squished a brown (black?) widow today. I am woman, hear me roar! Also hear me scream and run to take a shower.
26 Mar

Margie, upon hearing Elliott swear he sleeps with his eyes open: Oh man, he needs some physical therapy!
27 Mar

I’m really productive today. I’m pretty sure it’s cause I’m not wearing pants. (If yoga pants don’t count.) (They don’t.)
28 Mar

It’s normal to go to CVS and walk out with a Mexican Pepsi and a welcome mat, right? I passed on the Bieber-scented bracelet. Srsly.
29 Mar

Found something resembling a piece of chocolate at the bottom of my iced Starbucks drip coffee. I ate it. Hope that was wise.
30 Mar

As a kid I once prank called a random number and asked if the fridge was running. When they said no, I recommended an appliance repair man.
31 Mar








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