April Showers Bring May Tweets. Or something.

5 06 2010

I can’t stop eating these cherries even though the CONCEPT of cherries makes me gag (I blame Jack Nicholson). Totally awkward.
9:31 AM May 1st via web

ZebraBelly just made pizza scones. Is wondering why they smell exactly like a campground.
9:02 PM May 2nd via web

Elliott, yesterday: This elevator is CUTE! (I assure you, it was not.)
3:05 PM May 5th via web

ZebraBelly is watching “Connections.” Is kinda freaked out. Note to self: learn to slaughter cows before the world ends.
9:39 PM May 5th via web

Margie is trying to make me pick between the Tiki Room & bathrooms. As much as I will miss Jose & friends, I think I really need bathrooms.
11:29 AM May 6th via web

ZebraBelly is, apparently, watching Lady Jane and not at all doing any of the things she should be doing.
9:28 PM May 7th via web

WOW. How did I never notice how terrible this movie is? Overacting, much?
9:41 PM May 7th via mobile web

Dear Giant Scary Spider: just run away and we will both pretend I never saw you, ok? Ok.
9:24 AM May 8th via mobile web

DAMMIT, Spider. What did I say? If you don’t hold up your end of the bargain I shall be forced to run screaming from this place.
9:27 AM May 8th via mobile web

And he only has seven legs which means he’s battled to the death AND WON. And he’s fast like a fast zombie. Oh, you guys, I am so scared.
9:35 AM May 8th via mobile web

It’s a busy little faultline this morning.
11:51 AM May 8th via web

Elliott: Mommy, you made me a lot of food! You made me a baseball player!
1:29 PM May 8th via web

Despite the fact that I was prepared for it, it really hurts to know people are out there who consider me to be the selfish abuser.
8:36 PM May 8th via web

Among other shit that’s happened tonight.
8:36 PM May 8th via web

Kids can make a contest out of ANYTHING including whose heart rate is faster during an anatomy lab. Just FYI.
1:42 PM May 11th via web

ZebraBelly just witnessed an OxyClean Miracle!
3:52 PM May 11th via web

Blue sky. Green leaves. Warm sunshine. Bird song. Trying to feel… happy.
9:02 AM May 12th via web

That’s the second dead ladybug I’ve seen this week. Bad omen.
1:58 PM May 12th via mobile web

ZebraBelly just heard Peter & Paul are giving a concert without Mary. This is both good and bad, I suppose, but my heart can’t take it this week.
4:11 PM May 12th via web

ZebraBelly is having throat coat tea for breakfast. Not a good sign.
9:36 AM May 13th via web

ZebraBelly is knitting a tomato while watching a 3-ft tall Indiana Jones play soccer. My life sounds more surreal than it is.
3:31 PM May 13th via mobile web

ZebraBelly is stuffing a pinata.
3:52 PM May 14th via web

Seriously? Fuck you all. Oh, not YOU. I mean THEM.
4:56 PM May 14th via web

Five years ago just about now I was pushing a baby out in my bathroom. Born exactly at midnight. Happy almost bday, Elliott. <3
11:25 PM May 14th via mobile web

Our household Lego total has increased by about 260%. I should take out an insurance policy on it, it's worth more than my jewelry.
7:39 PM May 15th via web

ZebraBelly has a sexy lady voice today. Also lots of snot. Which I am pretty sure triples the sexy.
9:09 AM May 17th via mobile web

@ the mechanic: adjusted rear brakes, flushed system, declared me safe. Cost: $0. Have I mentioned I love my mechanic?
11:26 AM May 17th via mobile web

I have a hard time saying, "IMHO," because my opinions are never humble. Also because my opinions are really more fact than opinion. IMO.
9:23 AM May 19th via web

ZebraBelly has the entire afternoon off from her job of being a mom. Think I shall spend it asleep.
12:02 PM May 21st via web

ZebraBelly is catching up on Glee and thinks maybe Sammy Davis Jr didn't actually know what a tramp is.
10:55 PM May 21st via mobile web

Ok did they just say U2 is classic rock??
11:21 PM May 21st via mobile web

ZebraBelly felt that one. Felt bigger than 5.
10:34 AM May 22nd via mobile web

5.3. I am becoming very good at earthquakes.
10:39 AM May 22nd via mobile web

My brain exploded and I cried many Jears. And then my brain exploded again. Lather/Rinse/Repeat. #lostfinale
11:41 PM May 23rd via web

ZebraBelly has decided upon burned zucchini for lunch today. You know. Living on the edge.
11:48 AM May 25th via web

Oh, Trader Joe's, it's OK, I can wipe the chicken poop off my eggs for you. I don't mind. (That's a lie. I do mind.)
11:49 AM May 25th via web

ZebraBelly is, for the first time ever, disappointed in USAA.
1:41 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone

ZebraBelly just tried hickory smoked peanut butter for the first time and OH. MY. GOODNESS. it's so good I cried. Also good: Thai Ginger Peanut Butter.
7:03 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone

DAMMIT. Now I have to stalk TWO spots on the earthquake map.
10:54 PM May 25th via web

ZebraBelly hates loud and annoying neighbors. But can find forgiveness, somehow, when they blast "Brown Eyed Girl."
7:18 PM May 26th via web

I need a pad of sticky notes that come pre-printed with the phrase "You suck at parking, asshole."
3:08 PM May 27th via web

ZebraBelly just wrote a long note to go with a wedding gift where I declared the couple weirdos and then promised not to get naked.
2:30 PM May 29th via web

ZebraBelly made a sudden decision to shave her legs. Maybe I will get naked after all.
3:02 PM May 29th via web


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2 responses

6 06 2010
bethany actually

I had the exact same reaction to U2 being called classic rock. Not because I was 16 when the song “One” was released, but because in my mind, classic rock is a very specific subgenre of rock music (see: the movie Almost Famous) and U2 ain’t in it.

6 06 2010
ZebraBelly

YES! People on Facebook kept making it sound as though the “classic” referred to age, but, IMO, no matter how old U2 gets they will never be Classic Rock. You would think a show based entirely on MUSIC would get the genre right. Then again. What genre is U2?

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